Happy Mothers Day! Honoring Mama Rahma

Hello Queens! First off I would like to wish all of you a Happy Mothers Day! I pray your day was full of love! My mother, Rahmatoullahy Barry Mahotiere passed away when I was 1 year and a half. Although I survived my mother, from that day on my life has been challenging without her physical presence. Now that I am older, I realize how beautiful motherhood can be for some women. I love to think that my mother had a great experience bringing life into this world. Since my house was sold and my apartment burned down, I no longer have any physical items of my mother. Not even her clothes. This to me is an indication that her physical absence will always be something I have to live with no matter how hard that reality can be for me. As I have grown older, I understand the sacrifice it takes to not only be a mother but a wife also. My mother honored being with my father. Becoming Dr. Mahotiere’s wife was not only a life blessing but it also gave her an opportunity to create something bigger than herself. I am glad my mother took a chance with love and I am grateful that my father loved my mother enough to provide a better life for her and honor her as his partner. When I think about the life my mother had before I entered this world, I can only imagine how life was for her. There is no way she can physically speak to me, however I do get spiritual messages on a daily basis. Perhaps as I grow on this spiritually journey more things about her and her life will be revealed to me. Something else that I think is interesting is when I am revealed certain parts about her through other people. A great example of that is My Waist Beads. If it wasn’t for my mothers friend from Liberia, I would have never known that she was into the waist beads tradition. Although it does make sense considering the fact that she is from Guinea which is located in West Africa. It is said to believe that waist beads originated from West Africa. Another thing about my mother is the fact that she was a muslim woman and got married in Senegal inside a Mosque. Unfortunately I do not know which one because there are over 40 of them. Either way it goes it made me think about how much different that experience may have been compared to the traditional weddings that I have attended as a guest, a flower girl or brides maid. This Mothers Day was interesting because people kept wishing me “Happy Mothers Day”. It happened at least 5 times on different occasions. I couldn’t help but think that motherhood is approaching me. I had to think to myself “Are you ready to be a mother?” The answer is simple. I can not be ready for motherhood until I have healed parts of my childhood. Bringing a child into this world is a scary thought when I still have unhealed. parts of the child in me. I do not want to be operating from trauma, pain, hurt or heartbreak when I become a mother. I have witnessed the effects of being a “toxic mom” and what that can do to a child. I have also witnessed the limitations that are set with parenting when you haven’t recognized things about yourself as an adult. This is particularly when you have an inner child that still needs healing. It is possible to mishandle parenting because you yourself were mishandled as a child and without proper healing and awareness you may repeat the cycle. Everything is all about energy and healing when it comes to living a healthy, happy lifestyle. Losing my mother has caused my life an extreme amount of misfortune. However, I am still extremely thankful for the life she gave me despite all the unfortunate circumstances that have occurred as a result of her death. I just want to continue this healing journey I am on because before you know it, motherhood will be on its way to me. Until that time arrives, I will continue to focus on my healing.

Happy Mothers Day to all the beautiful mothers out there in heaven and on earth! You are appreciated!

Love Always,

Malon Mahotiere