LABOR DAY RECAP: A NEW LIFE

Hello Queens (and Kings)! I hope you all had a great Labor Day weekend and holiday. Today I spent most of my day off writing. As some of you may know I am working on publishing my first book but I started writing my 2nd book. Writing has always been therapeutic for me since I was a child however I just recently decided to publish my materiel and share it with the world. This is a big step for me considering the fact that it is my personal life I am exposing. I feel like I have an untold story that needs to be shared. Today I had to reflect on how far I have come to be where I am now. I moved out of my hometown in Atlanta at the beginning of the summer. Since moving to Los Angeles, I have had a tremendous amount of unexplainable experiences. Both good and bad but the good definitely outweighs the bad. The only problem is that I feel homesick at times. What forced me to move so far away from home was my healing journey. It was not safe for me to stay in Atlanta. I do not want to reveal too many details but just know that I had to escape from my environment. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been a hard worker. When I first started my waist bead business, I was only 16 years old. I don’t think people realized that my entrepreneurship was influenced by survival. I was applauded for being a “business woman” but they didn’t understand why the need to do that transpired. When my parents left this earth, I was left unprotected, abandoned, violated and robbed of my innocence. The more I begin to write my life story, the more challenges I face with my healing journey. I hate to think that my life has been full of tragedy when I have accomplished so much. After all, if it wasn’t for my hard work ethic, I would not have the means to be able to escape my environment in order to create a better life for me. There is a reason why I specifically chose Los Angeles to become my new home and start my new life. I will never forget when I visited for the first time in 2019 after receiving my Master Cosmetology license. I attended a summer program at Dramatic Arts school. I took a writing class and decided to share my idea of writing my life story into a memoir. However I was so ashamed of my story because I was still currently going through so much adversity. My teacher didn’t seem to mind. Instead she applauded me for my courage. I will never forget her words to me! She said “You are a true American hero! You are so brave. To come all the way out here and share what you’ve been through takes a lot of courage. Please write your book and share your story. The world needs to know how much you have overcome. Imagine how many lives you could help change with it.” After that, I knew that I had to DO SOMETHING. I started writing my book a year later during the pandemic. It took me 2 years to write it. When my apartment burned down, I lost all the material I was using to reference. Luckily I saved my writing to a computer. At the beginning of the year I told myself, “You have to leave Atlanta.” There was no way I could share my truth in the same place that everything transpired. I knew I had to go far far away. Now that I’m in Los Angeles, I feel like I am in a supportive environment but I have never felt so alone. Every day I wake up confused. I ask myself “What are you doing with your life?” Because it doesn’t seem like I have a clear path. I moved out of impulse. Something told me that it was time for me to go. Now that I’m gone, I realize how important it is for me to fulfill my purpose. I could not see clearly or think clearly in the environment that all my trauma happened. Now I am away and I feel everything so deeply. Maybe a little too much. I pray that God leads me in the right path when I am feeling lost. Moving to a new city without any support can be a very scary. I didn’t think about that until I actually got here and realized I’m all I got out here. Even though it may seem overwhelming at times, I have to understand that I am a lot more safer here than where I was before. I will always love Atlanta, that is my home. But the truth is, no one wanted to hear my truth. I’ve been crying out for help for years, I have tried everything in my power to receive justice or support for all the trauma and abuse that occurred as a result of my parents death. No one seemed to want to listen. I started to become sick mentally and physically due to the severity of the abuse I endured over the years. Because of who my abuser was and who he knows, he successfully kept me shunned and isolated. People started to label me as “crazy” and “mental” because I finally decided I was not going to be brainwashed. As a result, I lost friends. Family members wanted nothing to do with me and building relationships with others became more and more difficult because my trauma seemed to always take over. Now I am in a new place, I have never felt more appreciated and acknowledged in my entire life by complete strangers. Its crazy how I do not know many people out here but strangers have made it their duty to help me in anyway they can. I can appreciate the effort because it has healed my shattered heart. Although I do feel lonely at times, I know that I am not alone. I have my spirit guides by my side and they are constantly reminding me this where I need to be

My new life has started whether I like it or not. Unfortunately, due to personal reasons I will not be returning back to Atlanta for the rest of the year. I think its best if I stay where I am and focus on publishing my book. For the rest of the year, I want to focus on working and healing. Maybe one day I will return home to visit if I
feel safe but for now, I have to do what is necessary to protect my peace and mental health regardless of how frustrating it may be for me. I have faith that God will help me along the way. Also in reference to “Labor Day” I thought about the day I may go into labor. I think about having children a lot. My future children deserve a mother who is happy, healthy and healed. The last thing I want to do is pass on any trauma to my unborn child.

These are things I think about when I think of why my healing journey is a necessity. I cannot neglect healing

Thank you so much for letting me share! I hope you all had a great Labor Day Holiday and weekend! Tomorrow it is back to work we go! Let’s focus on ending the year trying to be the best version of ourselves!

Love always,

Malon Mahotiere