404 day
Greetings! Today is 4/4/2024 but in Atlanta we call it 404 day. If you know you know. 404, 678 and 770 are the OG area codes of Atlanta. They created 470 but it just don’t hit the same as 404. On this beautiful Thursday, I must say that I am very happy to be back home in Atlanta. The way I’m about to be outside this summer! The last 2 summers I spent in LA. Last year I spent majority of my summer traveling from Los Angeles to Las Vegas trying to find my way. I don’t know what motivated me to return back to Georgia but in the words of the late great Ray Charles “The road leads back to you.”
My music teacher Dre made me sing Georgia for our performance final. Before she made me sing it, she told me to watch the movie Ray which is now one of my favorite movies. I cried like a baby when I watched that movie. My teacher Dre follows me on TikTok. She is still performing. I saw she was in Bali recently and I thought about me going to Bali. It’s been nearly 4 years since I decided to attend Atlanta Institute of Music and Media. I must say that I miss that school. I miss my teachers and I miss their program. I was too depressed to take it seriously. I started watching old videos of me singing “Aint no Sunshine” and “Superstition”. This is when I had black hair. I was shocked to see myself with HAIR. I’ve been bald for so long, I forgot that I had hair at some point. Going back to Atlanta was a decision I thought would help me. I wasn’t doing well in Los Angeles. They were trying to steal too much of my energy and confidence. LA is a different type of beast. It made me appreciate ATL.
Last year around this time, I had to leave the house I was staying in LA. I was renting a room in Monterey Park. No one told me how racist people are in LA including whites, asians and Hispanics. I didn’t know I was unsafe until I started to get spiritual messages telling me to GET OUT! My roommate was an Asian Marine guy who hated my guts. I would wake up in the middle of the night and get cursed out by him. I never lived with a man before other than my brothers but I don’t count that. The Asian man was just a roommate but he made my life in that house HELL. To make matters worse, the land lord refused to defend me against him. She was Asian also. Why we cant stick together like other races do even when they’re wrong? I was left with no option but to call the police for my safety. When the police arrived there was 3: 1 white, 1 black, 1 hispanic. They didn’t seem racist but they did seem very concerned. They confirmed my spiritual messages to GET OUT so I did. My lease wasn’t supposed to end until the end of April but I left after the 1st week. The last thing I was prepared to experience was homelessness in Los Angeles again. I only left Atlanta because I was homeless after the Apartment fire. I figured that was a great time to make that transition since I had nothing.
When I think about what it meant for me to move across the country to chase my dreams of becoming a “writer” and possibly an actress also, I am glad I took that risk. Things may have been uncomfortable but the growth I experienced was immeasurable. Now I’m back and I’m better! I moved to LA because I felt safe there believe it or not. At one point, Hollywood was my safe space.
I attended The American Academy of Dramatic Arts Summer program once again. This was my way of planting myself in Los Angeles. I guess I am what they call an “industry plant”. No one knows how or why I am able to move the way I do but I always just show up as if some one sent me. Although I was taking my acting classes, I was on a mission. I got a job at Sport Clips and I was trying to stabilize myself somewhere. I was able to get another job right before the program ended. I realized my worth was beyond Sport Clips. After the summer program ended, I was forced to find somewhere else to go.
As I sit at work inside the Atlanta Airport I just want to express how grateful I am that part of my life is completely over. I remember seeing my teacher Ms. Debra again. I told her I finished writing my memoir. I hadn’t even thought about writing a children’s book. She knew I wanted to write a book.
The first time I ever went to Hollywood I was going to “sell my soul” until they told me the truth. They really didn’t want my soul. “You cant sell your story. It’s too authentic. You’re going to have to do everything yourself. Self publish and market it on your own. If you sell your story, they’re going to rewrite it, change it and it won’t be authentic anymore. You are the only person capable to do it.”
This came from one of the writers of the hit children show Clifford: The Big Red Dog which was one of my favorite TV shows as a child. I love Clifford the big red dog! That was my dawg in real life. I used to watch that show at my Auntie’s house on PBS. Here I was in Hollywood, talking to one of the writers. I was so proud of myself. I never been to Hollywood before but my first time was life changing. I was so thirsty to go back. No one cared for my story in Atlanta because everyone already knew about it. I realized once I got older it was a lot deeper than I thought. It wasn’t that the people in Atlanta, Georgia didn’t care, it was that they were simply an accomplice to the injustice I experienced.
When I returned to Atlanta from Hollywood, there was an immediate target on my back. Sometimes I think about why I left LA in the first place. After my meeting with the writers, I was inspired to write. I hadn’t started writing. I just wanted to present the idea first for feedback. The feedback I received was so powerful but I didn’t start writing. I went back to Atlanta and found myself in a spiritual war.
My legal guardian knows a lot of powerful people including a woman who used to be in Congress. I won’t say her name but I will say that she and her father have their own “highway” in Stone Mountain. I’ve known this woman since I was in middle school. She was the closest thing to a mother figure since she was dating my legal guardian. My legal guardian played the role of my “father figure” but that man will never amount to being my father EVER. When he sold our house, he placed our belongings at this woman’s house. After returning back to Atlanta from Hollywood, my legal guardian had it out for me that year. I was able to reclaim my inheritance at the big ass age of 25. That man had been robbing me and my brothers for nearly 25 years. That year in 2019, I finally had enough. I was determined to tell people the truth. I didn’t want to be quiet about it either. I was going to Hollywood!
Fast forward, 5 years later and I’m officially an author. I didn’t put out my memoir yet. I don’t think I’m ready for that. Putting my life story out there for public consumption was not something I had mentally prepared for. When I dropped Birds in the Sky, I felt skeptical. I kept having negative thoughts “No one is going to be interested in this.”
However I was happy that I got it published. I didn’t care to share it at first. I realized how selfish that would be for me to not share with people what I was able to create in one of my darkest times in life.
I have to say a special thank you to Russell for introducing me to my travel group Top Shelf Getaways because if it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t know this group existed. When the apartment fire happened, Russel was thoughtful enough to create my Go Fund Me but that fire prompted me to move to LA and not look back. “Can you send me some Black Hollywood stuff please?” He did JUST THAT.
I sent the Amazon link to my book in the Travel Group chat. I didn’t even realize someone actually purchased a copy. Not only was I grateful for the support but I realized how pessimistic I was being. No one in my family seemed to care about anything I was doing. I keep forgetting that my family is not the world. Sometimes we get so consumed in our personal trauma that we forget about the world.
I shared my appreciation on Facebook about people supporting my book. From there, I got more people to share. Again, I am so grateful for the support! I have to allow myself space to receive whatever the universe wants to send me for all the work I have been putting towards this. During the most challenging moments, I was able to create something that has the potential to heal people.
Eventually I’ll be going back to LA but not to stay. I’m going for a few days at the end of this month. Trap x Art is having a Freak Nik tribute so you know I have to come bring the Atlanta vibes. From the A back to LA, but just for 1 day! A part of me wishes I could stay but I don’t think now is the right time.
Right now I need to be home in Atlanta. I had to stop running from my problems. I am here to face my fears and the dark truth of my reality that I’ve been avoiding. The battle still isn’t over.
It is only just beginning.
I’ll see my Los Angeles Queens 4/28 at Trap Art for the Freak Nik tribute and I’ll have my mamacita Char the Star with me who I also met through Top Shelf. I cant wait to see you all and be back in LA!
Happy 404 day!
Love always,
-Malon Mahotiere