Birds in the Sky

Greetings! Happy Sunday! This week is special for many reasons so I am celebrating! This is a private celebration. Sometimes it’s hard to tell when people are genuinely happy for you. When you have been down for so long, not everyone wants to see you come up. I’ll keep the good news energy to myself. 1st things 1st my Children book series “Birds in the Sky” has officially launched the 1st ebook edition on Amazon. 2nd my parents wedding anniversary is this week. They got married in Senegal nearly 36 years ago and I still feel their love from above

Although I am extremely happy about Birds in the Sky ebook being available on Amazon, I must admit that I spent a lot of today crying. I don’t think they were happy tears or sad tears. It felt more like an emotional release. When I got the notification about Birds in the Sky being live, I was on the phone with my friend Michelle. I was telling her how much I missed Colombia and all the Top Shelf people.

“That Colombia trip took me on a high. I’m not trying to come down. I feel like a crack head looking for my next high or I’m gonna go crazy.” It was almost as if the universe heard me. When I got the email about my book being live on Amazon, I didn’t even say anything. I was in shock. I went and checked to make sure I wasn’t tripping. I wasn’t tripping. I felt that high feeling coming back. That’s the feeling of excitement. My book is live however it will take up to 72 hours for it to appear when you search it on Amazon. So I still have time to wait.

When I created Birds in the Sky it was during my time living in LA. I think that is also why I was crying today. I realized why I moved out of Atlanta. There was something emotionally triggering about being back in Atlanta. I wrote Birds in the Sky about me and my brothers. I wanted people to understand the perspective of a child after losing a parent. When I told people I wanted to tell my story some encouraged it and others questioned my intentions.. I was accused of wanting attention. Of course this accusation was from someone who played a role in the trauma I endured as a child. However, people seem to think that I want to tell my story for “attention” when that is the last thing I want from it. I cant deny the attention I get but that does not mean it is wanted. I just learned to accept it.

Ever since I was a little girl, people were always weird about my life story. When I got older, I started to become independent. I didn’t want people to talk about my parents being dead, I wanted people to talk about other things I was doing. I have never been the type to lead with my trauma. When I first meet people I don’t say “Hi, I’m an orphan. What’s your name?” I actually hate answering personal questions about my life. I hate when people try to “get to know me” because I know their going to try and find something wrong. There is a lot that went wrong after my parents died. All I wanted to do was set the record straight. I was tired of people speaking on my life or about my life when I’m the one who has to live it. My legal guardian fled the country. That should tell you enough about what I had to endure. Being in Atlanta is a reminder of all the trauma I experienced as a minor. When I thought about how I wanted to market Birds in the Sky I immediately thought “I cant do this here.”

As much as I am glad to be back home in Atlanta, this has never felt like a safe space. A lot of people know my story. People know about what happened. People deny the truth. People STILL ask me about my legal guardian and refer to him as my “Uncle”. I don’t know how many times I have to tell people THAT IS NOT MY UNCLE! My REAL Uncle Cami Lapierre passed away and my other real Uncle got deported back to Guinea when I was in High School. The man people keep calling my “Uncle” is nothing but a con artist who stole candy from not 1 but 3 babies. I think about my life. I think about my mother and father. Sometimes when I cry, I don’t cry for myself. I cry for my mother. I cry for my father. I cry about what happened once they left this earth. I cry when I think about what me and my brothers had to experience since they’ve been gone. I cry when I think about how neglected we were as kids.

Birds in the Sky is my way of making a change. I don’t expect people to always understand the changes that need to be made. In fact, I don’t even expect other orphans to understand because everyone’s perception In life is different. This is something I created to inspire someone. When I was a little girl, I was always inspired by celebrities. My unhealthy obsession with celebrities as a child is slowly finding a healthy balance in my adult life.

As a kid I wasn’t allowed to watch TV and I was only allowed to go to the movies if my legal guardian permitted. If I wanted to watch TV shows, I would have to wait until I went to someone else’s house. Once I became a teenager I just said fck watching TV. I haven’t watched a TV in years. Anything that brought me the slightest bit of joy or happiness, my legal guardian would take it away. Something I found joy in was watching exercise informercials. I would stay up all night and watch fitness informercials until it was time for school. Another thing I enjoyed watching was That’s So Raven. I felt like she was me and I was her. I loved how she designed her own clothes. That inspired me a lot.

The first edition of my children book Birds in the Sky is supposed to represent the little girl in me. This is the type of book she needed when she was younger. Theres so much hope and inspiration in this story. I wrote it during my time in LA. I felt extremely lonely and homesick. My cousin gave me the idea to write a Children’s book. “Why don’t you start with a children’s book? That way you won’t overwhelm yourself with the publishing part and it will help when you’re finished with your book.” Writing a children’s book wasn’t part of my agenda but the suggestion was too good not to act on it. Immediately I saw the concept and I visualized how I wanted to execute this story so children could connect to it instantly. The biggest issue was finding an illustrator. The things that I had to go through just to get to this point is WILD. I guess that’s why I’ve been crying all day. I need all this to release.

“I fly with the birds in the sky, I am no longer trying to survive!” is my new mantra. Shoutout to the Queen Nicki Minaj. I listened to her song “FLY” for encouragement. If I had to describe how I felt, that song would be the one. This isn’t to get things confused. I am very happy about Birds in the Sky.

I am just being honest with my emotions. I went through a lot to get to this point and got here on my own without much help. I had to become my own hero. I really had to save myself. In a lot of ways, I have always been waiting for someone to come save me since I was a little girl. No one ever could.

When you get yourself to the point of realization that all you have is yourself to rely on that can be scary. I am beyond tired of being independent. I always rely on myself. Birds in the Sky helped me realize, I am never truly alone. No matter where I am in the world, those birds will always be there. Those birds in the sky wake me up in the morning. They say Hi to me as soon as I step outside. Even in Colombia as I was paragliding, I saw two birds fly by to say hi. This story isn’t just something I made up. This is my life. This is my reality. I’m not that little girl anymore but that little girl still lives inside of me.

I want to give a special thank you to my illustrator Iman Fatima for working so diligently on this.

I am hoping to release new editions of the book..

My memoir is still in the works but in the mean time I am asking that you all support my children book series “Birds in the Sky” Mama Rama edition is the 1st edition dedicated to my beautiful mother Rama

Rest in paradise to my love birds in the sky Ramatoullahy Barry and Dr. Sauveur Mahotiere

You can purchase my ebook here

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYXPWVT4\Th

Thanks for letting me share!

Love always,

-Malon Mahotiere