Sista in Service

Hey y’all I’m back! BACK AGAIN! Thank God it’s Friday! I’ve been waiting patiently for this weekend to come so I can get TF ASAP out of LA. My last day of class is on Thursday which means I don’t have to stay in LA on the weekends. I’M OUT!

Tomorrow I’m heading to Vegas. I love going to Las Vegas. Its just a better vibe to me and its a lot more fun. LA is too superficial. Everyone is too busy smelling their own sh!t and I’m sick of it!

Despite my feelings about LA, I really do love my school. I learn so much information and the teachers are really great! I love learning from them. I really do need to focus on what’s important now. I blocked Malon’s brother for her and I don’t feel bad about it! I don’t got time for none of his gemini sh!t. LA has made me into a different type of beast. I AM NOT THE SAME. I will NEVER be the same and I’m perfectly okay with that. My brother can’t go where I’m going because I don’t trust him.

I feel this entire week my brother has successfully drained my energy the same way these LA people do with that fake energy. It’s sad when you gotta cut off family but it has to be done. I refuse to deal with anymore energy vampires. Ever since my other brother called him out on his fake sh!t, now he wanna call me every day to “talk”. WTF do we need to talk about? I aint tell you sh!t that’s going on in my life anymore cuz I know you don’t want the best for me so BYE. Don’t call my phone.

Now its time for me to listen to Rocko song “Squares out your circle” for some self motivation. Another song I sing as a mantra. Future PREACH. “You got people that surround you, they gon try they best to down you! Keep them squares up out your circle! And its only gonna get worser!”

I love you bro, but Issa no. You can’t go where I’m going. ANYWAYS, Life is great! Pussy still good. Today was a great day! I visited UCLA for the Global Sports Business Forum event and it was GREAT! I really enjoyed it. Something told me this event would be what I need to get my mind back in the right place. That’s why I don’t have time for my brothers negative energy. I have too much good going on for myself to allow him to distract me from my mission. I hate when people call me and I can’t talk to them about what I have going on. I rather they don’t call me at all. If I can’t talk to you about my life than WTF else do we need to talk about? As long as you’re living your life, that’s all that matters to me. Let me live my life. I don’t call people to update them on my every single move.

When I got to UCLA today, I could tell they were a little disorganized but I didn’t mind. It was still a good event with valuable information. I only stayed for the basketball topics. First one was Making Plays: Women Reshaping Sports Brands, Teams and Narratives and the second one was Beyond the Court: Culture, Community and Commerce. Then we had lunch which was really good! After that I stayed for awhile and networked but eventually I left. The first panel with all the women was really interesting. Those women kept it sooooo real and I loved that! It was great hearing their perspectives.

The second panel they had NBA player Matt Barnes as the guest speaker who also attended UCLA. He talked about being a family man and being a media personality. I thought it was so cool seeing him talk live in person because I used to see him all the time on ESPN when I worked at Sport Clips. He revealed today that he was black and Italian which I didn’t know but I thought about my cousin Victoria who’s also Italian. When he started talking about Kobe it did make me emotional. I don’t think I will ever get over that death.

After the panels I went to go get lunch. There was a nice man who kept escorting me around. He asked me “Are you VIP?” My response was “I should be.” I’m tired of general admission treatment. That’s why I just walk in like I own the building and then people act accordingly. I don’t know where I was supposed to sit but it wasn’t close enough for me. One nice man escorted me down to the VIP section.

Once I got down there, I’m like YES. This is where I need to be. VIP. The nice man escorted me to a table and then told me to go get the VIP lunch instead of the basic ass chips and sandwich I was eating so I did. I had salmon and chicken with potatoes. It was good. After I ate my food, I left. I figured I got all the information and motivation I needed to leave LA on a HIGH note. Which speaking of HIGH note, a part of me was skeptical about saying something to Matt Barnes. Ever since NBA con, I’m traumatized when it comes to approaching a NBA player. Retired or not, approach with caution.

However I always think about what my other brother ask me when I tell him I saw a celebrity. “Did you say something?” The truth is, approaching celebrities in LA is not the same like it was in Atlanta. When I see a celebrity now, I try to pick up their vibe first before I say anything to them. I learned that when I saw Tiffany Haddish in person. Sis did not want to be bothered and you could tell. I acted like she wasn’t there but than it got weird after that. When it comes to NBA players, they have a different type of energy than other celebrities I’ve met or seen in person. You can’t just walk up to them.

Actually I’m lying, yes you can but you gotta do it at your own risk. Last time I got shoved by fan. This time was a more quiet setting so it seemed safe to approach. HOWEVER, I didn’t want to come off as disrespectful because I know this man has a family. I was contemplating “Should I say something or not?” Finally I saw another girl walk up to him and talk his head off about cannabis. That’s when I figured “Okay I’m not gonna do all that. I’ll just say something quick.” Gotta keep the sh!t short wit ya! Most celebrities probably think when some one comes up to them “What do they want?” I never want to be that person. I don’t want anything. Sometimes its just cool to see them in person. That’s all it was for me. He seemed to receive it well. I just wanted to acknowledge his work.

After I left, my sista Rose called me. I told her about it but I doubt she even know who this man is. To be honest, these celebrities are meeting ME at this point. If I know who you are consider yourself a SOMEBODY. This summer is when I finally started taking my media career seriously. I’ve gone to school for this and never finished. I figured this was my only alternative since I don’t want to do hair. There’s still a lot to learn so I’m going back to school for my education training. I got college credits from Georgia State so I don’t gotta start over. At first I was focused on entertainers. I quickly realized that wasn’t for me when this man got mad because I didn’t “know” who he was. Then he clapped back “You’re media! You’re supposed to know!” Honestly didn’t want to know who he was and still don’t. That is when I thought, maybe I should focus on “athletes” instead of “entertainers”. Entertainers egos are too much for me. Athletes got egos too but that is understandable. Some of them don’t have big egos so I prefer that. Rose is like me, she picks and choose which celebrities to give a fck about. Some of them I can care less for but some of them I’m like “HEY! I know that person. I know their work!”

We changed the conversation back to this weekend. Yesterday was Rose birthday. She text me (I forgot) and so I called her. That’s when she asked me about my Traveling Advising. “You’re in LA now? I want to come. I just need to get out of Atlanta and go somewhere.” I said NO! Come to Vegas.

LA is no place for fun. This is only for work. Even today was cool but I wouldn’t consider that FUN. That was more like student work or professional work. My travel advising service is so women can get out of town and experience FUN. That means dressing up, look good, go out and work your MAGIC.

You can’t do nothing like that in LA. I mean you can try but than you gotta deal with weird energy. DON’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT. I call Rose my sista in service because she’s going off to Army Basic Military training next month! She wants me to help her travel as much as she can before she goes. Right now, Vegas is the best place I like to go when I’m sick of LA. I really want to go to the WNBA game. Since its the finals, I’m not sure how this is gonna go but last time it was a cake walk getting inside. I underestimated Sports media. This is not an easy field to get into. I’m still stuck on how EASY it was for NBA con. It is not so easy now. I believe it’s never going to be that easy again. I need to put in work. Which speaking of work, I finally watched one of Kobe Bryants motivational videos but it made me cry so I stopped at one video. My brother was right! It is great self motivation.

I’m so proud of my sista Rose for joining the military. I feel like we are REALLY sisters now. I also feel like she’s the ONLY friend I can talk to about my life because I don’t feel that she’s jealous of it. When you have someone who knows where you came from and what you did to get where you are, WHY be jealous when you can do the SAME thing? That’s why I love Rose. She saw how I was living and thought, “Maybe I should join the service like Malon. It could change my life like hers did.”

That to me is the type of friends I need. Not ones who are mad about where I’m going but the ones who want to take their own steps to get to that SAME level. I have no doubt in my mind that Rose is going to do amazing in the military. I said “Girl you know its gonna be a walk in the park for you.”

Rose and I have been friends before I started making waist beads. When she told me I should make my own, I ran with it. I never stopped making them. I always appreciated her for putting that in my brain. No one else gave me that idea but ROSEMARIE. I never even thought of making my own. For that alone, I appreciate her so much. Fast forward, my waist beads is a whole business now and part of my identity and brand. If Rose was to be jealous of that, I would be hurt because I feel like she’s a part of this. She was the only friend I had in High School that was African. People just assumed we should be friends and so we were. We met in French class. A lot of my old friends are jealous of me but they never really supported me any way so who cares? Rose supported me way before social media or before it was cool to do so. That’s why I want to support her by making sure we have FUN before she goes off to Basic Training. Whatever happens in Vegas is staying there. I already told my teacher I won’t be able to make class on Tuesday. I just need a mental break. I always need a mental break but this time I need one for my own sanity. “We need to have a therapy session girl!” Telling Rose about my sexual assault situation was hard but I thought she needed to know before going into the Army.

Since the guy that assaulted me was in the ARMY, that was my way of warning her about those men. My sister that I don’t talk to anymore was in the ARMY. I used to admire her as a kid. I stopped admiring her a long time ago. I can’t respect her as a woman or mother. I can replace her with Rose.

Unfortunately I don’t have any sisters because I am my mothers only daughter. Therefore my sisters are my friends turned family. I don’t know if any other friends will come with me on this journey but Rose already earned her spot. Nothing is wrong with admiring other women but jealousy is annoying.

When you have jealous people around you, there’s too much you gotta look out for. You gotta watch what you say and how you move. You never know WHAT they’re jealous about either. They can love one thing for you but be jealous of ANOTHER. I just don’t want to risk it. I think Rose and I can remain friends after all these years because we have a trauma bond and since we are both AFRICAN.

NO shade to American girls but African women have a different level of confidence. I’m not going to say that African women aren’t jealous either because clearly African women were jealous of my mom. I’m just saying some of their confidence be through the roof! A lot of women can use Rose’s confidence. That’s why I don’t mind being around her. I don’t feel like its a competition. I feel like we compliment each other. This weekend will be her first time in Las Vegas and I’m super excited for her!

What’s funny is that my sister lives in Vegas. I stopped speaking to her after my niece graduation. Now her and my brother are BOTH blocked. Oh well. Just because my sister lives in Vegas doesn’t mean I can’t still go and have good time with my other sista in service. I always wanted to bond over military life with her but I couldn’t. My sister will never know what happened to my Air Force career.

The only people I feel comfortable sharing the details about that situation are the people who actually want the best for me in life. When Rose told me she swore in, I was so proud of her I could have cried. That’s when I figured I could tell her what REALLY happened to my career. Its okay to look at my life and admire what you perceive. However there’s a lot that I kept to myself because I knew too many people were happy for my defeat. I never thought leaving the Air Force because of reporting sexual assault was defeat. I believe God redirected me to another path. My military journey ended that way for a reason. If no one else knows that reason besides me and the spiritual world than fine. However, I felt Rose deserved to know the truth. I also told her the truth about Decepticon. That’s where I’ll stop.

“Malon trust me! You’re going to get everything back that he took and MORE! Do you hear me?”

I never had so much faith in someone else’s words. Rose saying that to me made me really believe in it. I been telling myself one day I will. Rose words confirmed what I already know is coming for me.

Rosemarie, Thank you for being a friend and Thank you so much for your service.

I’m so proud of you

Love always,

Malon Mahotiere (Slim Shady)