Lets talk about sex baby
Hey y’all! Guess who’s back! Say hello to my little friend! Use my $16 off code: MAMARAMA. Expires tonight at midnight. 10/17 is a special day! My birthday twin Keyshia Kaoir got married today! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY SIS! I just ordered her trio package on her fitness website kaoirfitness.com Last time I tried her tea so I can look good for Tulum. This time I’m going to try her pills but I also purchased her waist cream and waist shaper. I’m trying to make sure I look really good for my birthday which speaking of birthday. Although I share a birthday with some ICONIC women like Keyshia Kaoir and Tiffany (New York) Pollard, I’m going to change my birthday to Martin Luther King weekend instead. Ever since Trump’s goons stormed the capital on my birthday, I need a reset.
My real birthday this year is on Saturday 1/6 but I don’t know what my plans are. My fake birthday is MLK weekend since we got that 3 day weekend. WOO HOO! I did say I want to have birthday sex but I think that is too long. I need to have sex for my health at this point. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking surrounding this. My celibacy journey has ended for both spiritual and health reasons. This summer I spent a lot of time reading books about sex. I still have more sex books I need to finish. An uber driver gave me a book about different sexual positions. That’s when I knew that I needed to look deeper into this. I read a book called Sexual Anorexia. That book talks about people who deprive themselves sexually. It linked sexual deprivation with survival mode. The book talked about childhood abandonment wounds leading to sexual dysfuntion. There was so much information revealed in that book that I knew I needed to have sex before the end of the year. I looked up how long is too long for a woman to go without sex, and google didn’t seem to have an answer. IN FACT, they encourage women to go as long as they need to. I think this is part of the problem. I believe that sex may be a solution but no one wants to orally admit it. We will talk about oral later. After doing my research, I have concluded that regular sex is the way to lead a happier and healthier lifestyle. THEREFORE, if you are depressed or dealing with mental stress than having sex could possibly help
Lets think about how long I’ve gone without sex and how detrimental that may have been to my health. I officially became celibate at age 21 and I am 29. The last time I got it popping was age 20. My last sexual experience is what prompted me to become celibate but the next year I made it official. That would conclude that I haven’t been sexually active with a partner in 8 almost 9 years. IF I have sex before December than it will be 8 years. If I have sex after December then it will 9 years and if I wait until 2024 I’ll be closer to 10 years. That is where I draw the line. Ironically, drawing the line at sex is my specialty. Now its time to open the door and let someone in. SOMEONE VERY SPECIAL. Otherwise I won’t be able to have kids one day. When I looked at the benefits of having sex I realized this can be beneficial for both men and women. For examples the benefits for men:
-Less at risk for heart disease and prostate cancer
-Better sleep. Improved moods. Better cognitive
-Improves self image and esteem.
-Alleviates depression and stress
Women have similar benefits but there were some things that stuck out to me in particlualar such as:
-Improved pelvic floor muscle, great exercise, good for your heart, great stress reliever, energy booster
When I think of all the years I spent focusing on my career rather than having a healthy sex life, I have to say that I deprived myself of what could have given me a healthier happier life. Well that ENDS TODAY. I’m not in a rush to have sex but I am open to it if the right opportunity presents itself to me.
The price a man is willing to pay for a sexual experience depends on the woman he desires to get it from. I guess that’s why I’m so stingy with my cooty cat. A lot of these men don’t have ENOUGH. The last time a man asked me for sex I immediately asked him for money and he got offended. If you are bold enough to ask me for sex than I should ask you for money. He then told me what about “love” and I scoffed. How could a man ask a stranger for sex then make it about love? I don’t agree that women should prostitute themselves. However if a man wants sex then he has to EARN THAT. Giving away sex to a man without him earning it is not okay. Whatever a man does in my opinion, has to be WORTH giving up sex. Why give up sex so easily? IT BETTER BE WORTH IT! That would only be the logical explanation for a woman giving it up INSTANTLY. Even when you think of giving it up on a “first date.” One may ask “Well how was the date?” A date to Mcdonald’s isn’t worth anything but a date that took a lot of time, romantic effort and some money deserves something. Never reward a man for bad behavior. These men need to STEP IT UP! That’s why I’m shocked at how many years have passed by! A man should have tried to impress me enough to have sex with me. Some have tried. Once I understood my position when it comes to having a sexual relationship with a partner, I knew I needed to take a look in the mirror and realize that I haven’t been open to the idea of sex until now.
Something about me changed this summer. It was after going to NBA con. I wanted to be around men I am actually attracted to. The book, Sexual Anorexia, Overcoming sexual self hatred, helped me see that part of my sexual dysfunction was me. I was avoiding sexual attraction altogether. I truly recommend reading that book if you ever feel you are depriving yourself sexually or feel any shame.
Denying and blocking sexual attraction is part of a symptom. I didn’t recognize I was doing that until other people started pointing it out. Women encouraged my celibacy because it repressed femininity. Men couldn’t say this because they don’t understand feminine power enough to express it but that is why they were against it
After reading that book I didn’t want to be sexually deprived anymore. Not many guys in LA made me sexually attracted to them. They’re too feminine. Hearing about NBA con was all I needed to remind myself what I’m attracted to. So I went. The rest is history from that because now I know exactly what I’m attracted to. The next step would be trust and vulnerability. I believe sex is an intimate act.
There are a lot of sexual activities I refuse to do because I think it should be with a sacred person. Sexual activities like: sex in the shower, sex on a balcony or on the beach aren’t just for everyone. That is my personal opinion. Everyone experiences sex differently but if I don’t like you like that Issa NO. I have declined intimate sexual gestures just because BUDDY TRIED IT. I like you but not like that to be intimate. Sex and intimacy are too different things. It reminds me of Matthew Kelly’s book 7 Levels of Intimacy. I struggled with intimacy for years. Books definitely helped with that wound.
When it comes to sex, I believe communication is key with your partner. Maybe not just verbal communication but oral communication as well. Use your mouth to show him how you feel. You can use your mouth to get into his head. HE WILL LOVE THAT! When I was younger I was accused of giving fellatio before I even started High School. That experience traumatized me to never want to do such an act. Even though I didn’t do it, someone starting a rumor like that made me feel forbidden to actually do it. By the time I became of age to do it, let’s just say I learned a lot.
Feeling shame behind sexuality is common if you’ve experienced sexual abuse or trauma. Whether it happened as an adult or when you were a child, sexual relationships may be hard for you to have. Depending on your own research and your partner, there are ways for you to communicate your needs, desires and wants when it comes to a happy healthy sex life. For example, I believe I will need to have sex damn near every single day. If we cant do it every single day than I need intimacy every single day
The levels of deprivation I had require me to have an overload of sex and intimacy. I read that having sex once a week is considered “healthy”. I don’t think that’s enough. Every single day or every single day from the days I have with my partner. There may be days where we don’t see each other. However every day I’m with you is the day we need to have sex. I do have limits and boundaries.
Since I am no longer celibate, I can perform sexual activities with someone in a committed relationship. I don’t have time for casual talk with men so why would I accept casual sex? That’s a no no. Therefore if I’m giving up sex it is because I am in a committed relationship with a man. This can mean we have limits to the sex. We can be in a committed relationship and have sex all day every day but that doesn’t mean we can have sex unprotected. Unprotected sex is only for committed obligations, marriage or both. Leave it in sex is for marriage and marriage only. Everything else is fair game. I am more interested in building an intimate bond with someone during this time.
Getting to a place where I am excited about being sexually open with a man is good enough for me. WHO WILL THIS MAN BE? Hopefully, he will be someone who understands my love languages.
MY LOVE LANGUAGES ARE ALL OF THEM but if I had to choose the TOP 3 it would these 3:
Acts of service-receiving gifts
Quality time-Physical Touch
Words of Affirmation
Honestly it is hard to choose between them all but if I had to choose the MOST important compared to the LEAST I would say ACTION always beats WORDS. Why I prefer a man about that ACTION
Anyone can talk a good game? But can you back up what you’re saying? Before I leave y’all I want to share the opinions of other women who blog. They took the time to write extensive blogs about why men love when you use your mouth to express how much you love them. If we are being honest, I cant remember the last time I used my mouth to openly express love for a man. Not with this MILLION DOLLAR SMILE! I told myself after I got my braces off that I would NEVER use my mouth to express how much “love” or “attraction” I have for a man unless HE WAS THE ONE. New mouth, who this? My jaw surgery definitely helped my ability to orally express myself better but I just haven’t found the right man to do that for JUST YET. I’m not looking for a man to do anything with. I’m just simply manifesting a happy, healthy, sexually satisfying life for myself with a partner that makes sense
Check out these blogs by other women
https://www.drpsychmom.com/2021/07/18/why-men-want-oral-sex/
https://emyraldsinclaire.com/7reasons/
https://www.thefemininewoman.com/why-men-love-blow-jobs/
When the time comes to Talk about Sex with that one special guy, I will not be sharing all the details of that conversation publicly. Who know’s how things will go? I am big on keeping private life private. What I can promise to do is give my perspective and feedback on how you ladies can get your groove back after your celibacy journey
Is Birthday sex still on the table? Will I have sex before 2023 ends? Who will be the lucky guy?
Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z
-Slim Shady Super Sayain (Malon Mahotiere)