Thot Process: Top 5 #CelibacyChallenge

Hey y’all! Guess who’s back? Back Again! Tell a friend: Today I go back to school! I guess that means summer is now officially over. Overall this summer was probably the best and worst summer. The best summer because I had some really remarkable memorable moments but the worst summer because I also had some low moments.

Overall Shera Seven helped keep my spirits up SPRINKLE SPRINKLE. If it wasn’t for SHERA I don’t know how this summer would have gone for me. I may have let depression takeover but I could NOT afford that. So this summer I had to think, plan and act FAST. Now that its all said and done, I’m proud of myself! I came along way! Which speaking of Shera Seven, I decided to breakdown some of my thoughts on you thots and hoes.

SO I already explained previously that hoes stands for has outrageous energy sexually but the word THOT, stands for “that hoe over there” so if you put it all together you got ‘That Has Outrageous Energy Over There.’ Does that make any sense? To me it does. Here’s why: Hoes and thots get A LOT of attention. Attention is one hell of a drug. That’s why fame is so addicting to these hoes and thots.

Now I don’t want these labels to be derogatory at all. In fact, people have called me both a hoe and a thot but I wouldn’t consider myself either. I got called a hoe even when I was still a virgin. That’s what made me create the acronym having outrageous energy. I figured, “This is why people call me that.”

As women we do tend to mimic our mothers. Sometimes we force ourselves to be different if we see something we don’t like in our parent and decide we don’t want that for ourselves. I never had that. When my mother passed I was 18 months so I never saw enough of her life to determine if I wanted to be like her or if I wanted to be different.

My mother was a married woman with children when she passed away. If that isn’t considered a hoe or thot then how did I get this label? I think its because of sex appeal. When people are naturally drawn to you sexually, then they blame you and shame you for it. It aint my fault I inherited sexiness.

When I grew up people always objectified my body which made me believe for a long time it was my best asset. Now that I’m older I realize my best qualities aren’t even physical. My physical qualities are additional bonuses but the best things about me are the things you can’t see or touch like my voice.

I always wanted to be like my mother but I knew I had to be different. I didn’t want people talking about ME the way they would talk about her. My mother is the reason why I have never dated a married man. Even though my father divorced his 1st wife, people never seem to let her live that down even after her death, “She stole her man.” That is how everyone saw my mother. I guess stealing someone’s husband may be considered hoe behavior but I beg to differ. Over the weekend I was talking to both my brother and Michelle about dating. Michelle has dated married people.

Personally I am not against women dating married people but do it at your own risk. I can’t do it. I’m traumatized by the shame I got from my mothers actions. The man she married was nearly 25 years older than her so people really seemed to think it was twisted. I don’t think my mothers actions were wrong but I’m biased. Even though I’ve never dated a married person, I am not against people doing whatever makes them happy. At the expense of whatever may happen as a result, be prepared for that.

When I decided to be celibate it was because I didn’t think I was having sex with the right people. I want to talk about this Thot process. Sometimes I wonder how do these hoes do it? Lets talk about Brittany Renner for example and her 35 bodies. The 1st thing I thought about when I heard that was “She definitely needs to be wearing my waist beads if she’s having sex with that many guys.”

Then I started talking to Michelle and Algabra about it. They both said that she’s tripping for even admitting that! “Somethings you gotta keep to yourself! She could’ve kept that information.” We live in a microphone culture now where people feel the need to defend their actions. I’m trying to process the thoughts of these thots. Why do you feel the need to have sex with THAT many guys? Is 1 guy not enough? Apparently not for some women. I’ve accepted the fact that I am definitely a different breed.

Since Brittany Renner is bold enough to say her body count, then I should have no shame in revealing mine. Actually I feel childish sexually compared to her. I’m like damn 35? I haven’t even reached 5.

First body: Tattoo Artist. We grew up together and I known him since I was in Middle School. We didn’t start dating until High School but we were toxic so I don’t even consider that dating. I wouldn’t even go as far as calling him my first love. He was just a guy I knew that I thought I loved but I didn’t.

Second body: Hispanic Sugar Daddy. I met him at the gym. I was young and heard my friends talking about having Sugar Daddies so I wanted one.

Third body: Obsessive Ex. I never really agreed to have sex with him. He coerced me into it and then went too far. I believe after 1st body and 2nd body I was lost when it came to sex. I felt used by him.

Fourth body: Liar Boy. He wasn’t a bad guy but I was a bad gal. I’m sure our relationship would have been better if he wasn’t so distrustful and I wasn’t so dismissive. I think he grew tired of chasing me.

WHO WILL BE NUMBER 5? My last body was probably the most “normal” guy out of the bunch but he wasn’t sh!t either so we’re not giving any of them a pass. Each body is deleted hoeness like Draya.

Now when I think of who my next body will be, it HAS to be my husband. WHY? Because sex isn’t just something you do with just ANYONE. I am a firm believer in that regardless if people think I’m a thot or a hoe. I know who I am and I cant just be with anyone. It took me a while to realize my celibacy journey isn’t hard to do because my self love outweighs instant gratification from sex. What do these women get from having sex with all these men? Is it money? Are they adding to your life?

The main reason why I STOPPED having sex was because I felt like I was literally giving myself away without gaining anything from it. Even with hispanic sugar daddy, he would give me money. However I would think “Is this all I’m worth?” MY vagina is too valuable for a few hundred bucks.

SHE GOT THAT MILLION DOLLAR! MILLION DOLLAR OOO OOO OOO. Million Dollar smile to match that Million Dollar vajayjay. I never told my brother my body count but we did talk about Brittany Renner interview with Shannon Sharpe. Regardless, I’m still not judging sis. In fact, I’m really interested in understanding HER thot process. I thought about getting her book titled “Judge this cover” where she is naked on the front. I figured reading her book will help me better understand who she is because I don’t get it sis.

My gemini brother is always switching moods and thoughts. I asked my brother if he watches Shannon Sharpe new podcast Club ShayShay. “That sh!t toxic.” When he said that, I figured he didn’t watch it until I saw him over the weekend and he brought up the Brittany interview “I thought you said it was toxic!” “Malon you know I watch that toxic sh!t come on now. You know me!”

My brother thought Brittany Renner revealing her body count was absurd. I tried defending her. “Don’t defend that BS!” To me, I don’t think it matters how many men a woman slept with if she’s able to keep her vagina healthy throughout all those encounters. Brittany admitted that she had sex with 3 guys in 1 day and ONLY got a yeast infection. I’m like damn sis, yeast infections are NOT IT.

I love to believe that our bodies are temples and should be sacred but what do I know? I’m African. Everything I do isn’t always received well by American culture. Shera Seven says a woman bragging about multiple sex partners is too masculine but this was way before Brittany Renner’s interview. “Men do that. Men brag about how many women they’ve been with because its a game to them. Women can’t do that. You have to play the game differently.”

This is why I listen to Shera. She married a man nearly 25 years older than her and she has 2 kids. Both of her girls are already thinking smart even though they are just teenagers. “Never wait for a man in jail! Its not worth it!” That’s what one of her daughters said on her YouTube video. I’m thinking to myself “She’s raising those girls RIGHT!”

Although my mother isn’t here anymore, Shera’s life is similar to the life my mother would have had. My mother didn’t have to work unless she wanted to because my father took care of everything else

When my mother came to America, my dad had everything already ready for. All she had to do was get pregnant so he could have his first son and she did that. My mom was pregnant a year after their wedding and then got pregnant again right after. They say you’re not supposed to do that but according to whose standards? They always telling black women or African American women fake myths and stories about having children so we don’t continue to procreate. I would go in on this.

We will save that for another day. Back to this thot process: I believe women should only give themselves up to a man if they are able to gain something in return. Willingly giving your body up for validation is silly as a woman. You can receive validation in OTHER ways. Also having sex or being a hoe or a thot just so you can get attention is another way of wanting validation. Why do you think sex gives validation? Sex can only give that if you’re doing it with someone you’re truly meant to be with.

Whenever I had sex with those other guys, I didn’t feel validated. I felt drained. I felt that they had taken some power from me. I felt that I was making them powerful and I was getting weaker.

This is why I had to just STOP. One day liar boy did try one more time. When I told Liar Boy, I don’t have sex anymore he was shocked at first but then he told me was “proud of me.” “Good for you!”

A lot of men don’t take my celibacy seriously because they figure women want sex just as much as men but I would have to disagree. It’s levels to this hoe life and thot life. Maybe when I was young, sex would fascinate me. The idea of it, the feeling you get when you’re about to do it or about to see someone and you know its going down was cool at first until I matured. All of that fascination died once I realized these boys were stealing my power away. I’m glad I was mature enough to understand the worth of my vagina at a young age. I was 21 when I made my celibacy OFFICIAL.

People still may think I’m a hoe or a thot because I like to twerk and I like to flirt. I’ve never been shy. If I’m talking to a guy, its not always about sex or relationships. I have so much to offer a man other than sex but SEX WITH ME SO AMAZING! Nothing is wrong with being sexual and owning your vaginal rights but just know everything comes with a cost. Exposing myself to too many men means that I may put myself at risk for unwanted pregnancy or STD. Men should be just as cautious as women when it comes to their HEALTH. I don’t think guys should just have sex with ANY ol girl.

We’re not judging anyone for their choices. I am just simply suggesting to be smart when choosing your sexual partner. I know I want my next partner to be a millionaire because I can’t have no broke man in my vagina. THATS A NO NO. When I told my brother I’m trying to date a millionaire he said “What if he's an a$$hole?” I’m thinking there is no bigger A HOLE than a broke dusty man that can’t do anything for you! When I think of all the men who mistreated me they had 1 thing in common. They couldn’t do NOTHING for me. When I think of the men who treated me the best or like a Queen they either had their own business, a career, or just had money. I don’t even care how you have it as long as you got it. I just know I’m too good to be with someone who can’t do anything for me. My days of dating broke men BEEN OVER. Call me what you want but I know my mama didn’t settle for some broke man.

Rahmatoullahy Barry Mahotiere will always be the inspiration behind my celibacy journey because great things come to those who WAIT. Women say all the time “I don’t know how you do it Malon”.

However I don’t know how these thots do it. Having sex with men isn’t the problem but a bunch of men? There’s no way I could see myself doing THAT. I don’t know how they do it but every BODY is different. Again I’m not judging, I’m just saying be safe out here. When I do decide to have sex, I’m hoping that my partner feels the same way.

I’m going to assume that my next partner will have more bodies than me, more money than me and more experience in life than me which is fine. Therefore I don’t want to know how many bodies he has because his life before me doesn’t matter. Just like my fathers life in Africa before meeting my mother didn’t matter. They still got married and lived happily ever even after death. All those women in Africa, and my father STILL chose her.

I hinted around the fact that I want to date an older man like my mother and my brother didn’t like that OH WELL! If it wasn’t for our dad wanting to be with a younger woman none of us would be here. Now I may not go as far as 25 years older. 10 years is the minimum. I tried dating a guy 5 years older

Men do not mature as quickly as women. At first I thought it was just an expression until buddy was playing with toys at his big ass age! I said to myself “Nah I can’t do this. I need a grown ass man!” I understand we all have an inner child we need to nurture but someone 5 years older than me still fascinated with toys is a no. Especially when you don’t have kids. Clearly he needs some maturing to do. That was all I needed to know that 5 years ain’t old enough for me. I need way more maturity.

The only person who is allowed to be childish in the relationship is ME. I don’t got time for broke men, childish men, feminine men or abusive men. Men who compete or compare themselves to women and men who think they are the prize is also a NO for me. I want man who is just a man.

When I do have sex again, I’m not sure if I will be labeled a hoe or thot anymore. I’m not having sex without a commitment of some sort. What if he commits to giving me money? Does that make me a hoe? What about being committed in a marriage to leave it in, get me pregnant and have a family? Does that still make me a thot? Who makes all these rules anyway? I do not know what the future holds but I’m still trying to process thoughts of sex

Are you comfortable enough to share your body count publicly? IF not than think: who’s your top 5? Ask yourself what did you gain from your sexual partners. Do you believe the sex was worth it? I reclaimed my virginity after year 5 of my celibacy. None of my previous encounters can get CLOSE enough to smell my vagina let alone have sex with me again. Hoeness deleted. Aint no miles on this here new body! When I start having sex again, I don’t know if I’ll share it but in the meantime I’m focusing on me. Going back to school gives me the opportunity to keep my mind in the right place.

Sex is GREAT

However don’t allow yourself to be DICKstracted. Also if a man is ONLY offering you sex, RUN!

I think I said that already before.

Fellas if a woman is ONLY offering you sex, RUN! (If you really about that life, some can’t resist!)

If you are gonna have sex just remember Lil Wayne’s magical mantra words “These hoes aint as good as they look.” and the infamous “Safe sex is great sex better use a latex!” Y’all know the rest. I’m out

Slim Shady