Mingling with the Mahotieres

Greetings Royal family! I hope everyone had a great weekend! I know I did! Where do I start? Well, first off I left my laptop on the plane. I was so tired that I didn’t even realize I forgot to put it in my bag. I didn’t realize I left it until AFTER I left Connecticut. I was planning to visit my family until I arrived and it was raining. Rain was not the energy I needed. LA rained on my parade enough. I don’t need a physical manifestation of what I was feeling internally so I got up out of there QUICK. My good friend Cory and Barber brother had his 3 year Anniversary for his Barbershop RX-Elites. Let’s be honest, I only left LA because I was trying to figure out an escape plan. Where would be the best place that I can go to get my cup filled? I had my heart set on New York until I remembered how annoying the weather is in both New York and Connecticut. I had to reevaluate. I decided I REALLY need to see my brother, Algabra. Me and my brother are like twins. We’re 3 years almost 4 years apart and we look exactly alike I can’t even lie. My birthday is his half birthday and vice versa. He’s a gemini and I’m always calling him out on it whenever he start gemini-ing. When I was in High School I remember my friends coming up to me saying “Malon there’s a guy that looks JUST like you at our school.” I was a freshman and my brother was a senior/ My other brother Suave already graduated. It was cool being in school with my brother. I never had to ride the bus if I didn’t want to since he drove to school.

When I arrived to Atlanta, I went straight to Cory’s anniversary party. I barely had any clothes left so I wasn’t all dressed up like everyone else. I was just coming to support Cory. I missed the anniversary celebration last year but I’ve been at the 1 year anniversary and the grand opening. When I got to the shop, one of his team members was shocked to see me! A lot of people were shocked to see me. I guess they didn’t think I would come all the way from LA just to celebrate this one night. I figured it was worth it because it was either that or be a slave during LA Fashion week. I wanted to do SOMETHING related to my career but I would much rather celebrate than be a slave. What was interesting was the entire experience made me miss Atlanta so much! I stood there smiling like an idiot most of the night because it has been so long since I’ve seen black people enjoying each other.

LA has no type of community, culture or spirit. I can’t get jiggy with this SH!T. When I mentioned it before someone said “Why don’t you create that culture in LA?” Is LA even worth all that? Next thing you know I gotta worry about someone trying to destroy what I’m building NO THANK YOU! I see what time it is in LA. This is not the place for me to be my TRUE self. That’s why I got Slim Shady.

Whenever I party with Cory, I can be sure to be fcked up the next day. I partied a little too hard but I HAD FUN! I even gave a girl some waist beads for her birthday! The only pair left of my Melon design. I believe Atlanta got the best girls to vibe with. I MISSED IT! Girls love girls where I’m from.

As blanco boy wasted I may get partying with Cory, I always get back safely with all my belongings. WE LOVE THAT! I missed Cory and his team but I would be lying if I said people didn’t treat me differently. The only people who treated me like the same Malon was Cory and his buddy Puddy.

Ever since I moved to LA, people think of me differently. People think I’m “Hollywood” now but I’m still HOOD, Hollywood couldn’t CHANGE ME. Yet here I am back on the Devils playground. I just accepted the fact that LA triggers my depression. Every time I come back I cry for hours thinking about why TF did I do this to myself? They say isolation is how you build but this is a different type of lonely. I’ve always been a loner in Atlanta but I can go outside, see someone I know or meet someone new and not be alone if I don’t have to.

It’s super hard to remain alone in Atlanta. Someone is going to come around and give you company whether it’s someone you know or someone you just met. There’s not always a distrust factor. I feel like in LA you can’t make friends with strangers so easily cuz next thing you know your energy is stolen.

There’s a big difference in EXCHANGING energy vs STEALING someone’s energy. LA got nothing but Vampires. They suck you dry (pause) and then spit you out. When I look at pictures of myself in LA, I could see how they sucked the life force out of me and reduced me down to a bald ass head. Regardless of how pretty my face still is, I WILL NEVER BE OKAY WITH WHAT HAPPENED TO MY CROWN! We talking energy! Yes hair is very important but they tried to F with my CROWN.

“DONT TOUCH MY CROWN AGAIN B!TCH!” Yeah, I’m on my Nicki Malon Big Barb bully sh!t. When I saw my brother even he admitted I was different but in a good way. “Your teeth are up to parr sis! Your smile is beautiful!” As soon as I got my braces off, I left Atlanta expedidoustly. I didn’t want to smile at those knee grows. I knew they couldn’t afford this million dollar smile and I WAS OVER IT! Then I realized I was wrong about Atlanta. Now I feel like Summer Walker. She hates LA also. Maybe sis was on to something? Atlanta is definitely “Black Hollywood” and the beauty of that is, WE HAVE THE POWER.

Well really Tyler Perry got the power.

I forgot what it means to be around blancos that actually LIKE black people or try to combat racism. They’re trying! I can appreciate the effort. In LA, they just give you this big ugly fake smile while wishing the worst over you. That’s what I can’t stand. If you don’t like me that’s fine, but please get TF out of my MF face word to Young Thug! Free Thugger Thugger baby. YSL is not a gang (allegedy). In LA, even if people don’t like you they will try to befriend you or get close enough so you can lower your defenses. Next thing you know, something is WRONG. You feel drained and lost.

Chaos and confusion is the devils tool to mind control. People would try to make me question myself. Demons was calling my soul, I SAID F ALL OF YOU HOES! (Excuse my French) word to Future: Atlanta’s toxic king. I’m balling out of CONTROL but I’m really trying to STOP cursing. It is NOT lady like. Please be patient with me.

When I checked out of my hotel the next day from the party, I saw my brother. When I arrived to his place, I said “I’m SICK! I gotta throw up!” “Alright well just go throw up over there in the bushes.” What a warm welcome from my alcoholic brother! I missed my brother a lot but we kinda were beefing while I been gone since he crashed my car. Both my brothers crashed my car when I moved out of Atlanta but I’m glad they BOTH survived those accidents so I just charged it to the game.

I realize the value of family and how important it is. Cars can be replaced but people can’t. I could never be upset that long knowing he could have lost his life in that accident. I got another car anyway. (its not as nice as the one he crashed but it will do for now) I can't hold grudges against my brothers even though they are very toxic to me. I just stay away. I love them too much to hold a grudge.

Although our relationship could be better, we are trying! We even say “I love you” or “love you” before getting off the phone …something we NEVER used to do before. How you say it doesn’t matter as long as you know the love is REAL. People say they “love” you all day but those ACTIONS what do they say? Is it something else like envy, possessiveness and greed? That’s not REAL LOVE.

Me being back home put my mind in gratitude mode. Every moment we are grateful for. I spent the rest of the day with my brother and his friends. We went to Decatur Festival. IT REALLY IS GREATER IN DECATUR! I missed ATLANTA

“You know you a Georgia girl anyway even though you were born in Africa.” I laughed so hard at my brothers statement. I think I hated Georgia because of childhood trauma but that really is my home.

Ray Charles was right. The road leads back to Georgia. I had to sing that song for a grade at my music school for performance class. My teacher knew it would be a good song for me to sing because I can relate to Ray Charles story. I never saw the movie until I had to sing the song for performance class. “Watch Ray before you sing the song! It will help you understand the lyrics a lot better when you do.”

The wonderful part about being back home was knowing that my legal guardian fled the country. For some reason that made everything sunnier, brighter, and better. Even the way people treated me and my brother was as if they were happy for us too. People kept waving at us staring and smiling. It was almost as if they knew. People in Georgia KNOW our story because of how prominent our Father was but our legal guardian was a decepticon. I know that may be an extreme analogy but I’m using my Los Angeles Film School education to be more creative when speaking about the details of my life story. Decepticon’s are the primary antagonist in the transformer multi transmedia franchise. Decepticon’s are one who deceives, lies and steals.

The reason why I’m even back in LA is for a few reasons. I gotta finish Film School, I gotta publish this children’s book, this memoir and I’m waiting on a blessing. Over the weekend, I got a call

For confidential reasons, I can’t reveal any details on this matter but let’s just say I can focus on me. I really don’t want to work anyway unless its for myself. When I got the phone call, I got my ticket straight back to LA. I planned to stay in Atlanta but when you get that life changing call RISK IT ALL

Although I couldn’t reveal any details to my brother, I assured him WE GON BE ALRIGHT! Seeing my brothers reminded me how far behind we are! Decepticon is my new name for my legal guardian because that is what he is. Every conversation with my brother feels like therapy.

At Decatur Festival I had a great time! I don’t have a problem with blanco people but it’s different in the South. White folks and black folks get along pretty damn well in Atlanta and even if they ARE racist, they’re UPFRONT so you can know what to watch out for. In LA everything is a deception. It’s so hard to tell the real vs the fake in LA. I’m Summer Walker OVER IT. Just give me my money

This weekend made me realize that I might be a little too real for that fake LA vibe but the people that love me the most didn’t want me staying in Atlanta that long! “You don’t gotta dance with the devil. You just need to condition your mind to work with the devil for your benefit! I know you don’t want to go back and deal with those people but Malon what did they really TAKE from you? If anything you GAINED more than they were able to take. Yeah, they may have taken your energy but look at what you were able to get from them! Everyone who tried to take your energy you gained something from.”

These are words from my good sis Michelle, Queen of Press. I appreciate Michelle because she has been there through all my stages since we met in Beauty School nearly 6 years ago. She’s a SOLID friend and not just when its convenient to be. I didn’t see her while I was in Atlanta. We talked on the phone. She knows I’ll see her soon.

I notice that I call a lot of people my “friend” because I know eventually the relationship will “end.” However there are friends that could never be just a friend, you are FAMILY period. That’s how I see Michelle. I wouldn’t put her in the category of my other fake ass friends who only come around when they see me doing good. After the fire happened, I did a great job isolating myself so I can know who my REAL friends are. Come to find out, I got like a solid 3 friends maybe. Not even my whole hand.

Being in LA made me realize that I don’t want any friends here. I’m good love ENJOY but we can work together. Business is business. Some people are BAD for business, that’s why I’m staying to myself. No one even knows I’m returning back to Film School unless if you are reading this right now. It’s too late. SECRETS OUT. I’m keeping this journey to myself this time around and only sharing with people who matter. Too many people attach themselves to you because they KNOW you got the potential to reach a level that they can’t. I don’t want ANYMORE leeches around me or my brothers.

Decepticon was the biggest LEECH of them all. A grown man stealing from 3 minor orphans. What’s crazy is Hollywood is FULL of people JUST like him. That is what is scary. I’m good on all that. My childhood experiences can warn me when someones energy is like decepticon. I’m getting better at recognizing the patterns in behavior so I can protect myself from those type of people.

That’s why its best to just stay to myself in LA and only come outside if I feel its necessary. When I first started Film School I was pursuing the business side of the entertainment industry. This year I realized that I don’t want any job that will make someone treat me like “The help”. That’s why I retired from doing hair.

When I was in Miami, another blanco woman spoke professions over me. She said to me “You look like a physician. Actually, you look like you’re a producer!” I smiled at her thinking YES MAM.

I received her words well.

Going to New York could very much still happen if my employers make something shake. They claimed they can’t transfer me because each school is independently owned HOWEVER they own a school in New York. I asked for a transfer and they finally reached back with the information. I’m not going to act on anything yet. I just want to process things first before I execute any plan to leave LA.

What’s meant for me right now is NOT working anyway. I do miss teaching. I enjoyed my job but I can always go back and do it. Right now I’m doing ME. I’m living life right now man. I’m living my best blessed life using my favorite Drake lyrics as if they are my personal mantras. I got only 3 more months of being 29. For once in my life I don’t want to be in masculine survival mode anymore. I want to be a girly girl in my divine feminine energy.

Me and my brother had some real DEEP talk.

Something that I always try to do is uplift my brothers spirit because I know too many people benefit from them being in low spirits. It’s not our fault. ITs DECEPTICON! He did ALOT of damage. I know people say forgive but don’t forget but that’s a lot easier said than done when you’re sleeping on the streets because of someone else’s greed. I can forgive what he did to me because I’m finally getting out of that situation but I can’t forgive completely because of what he did to my brothers and how they were effected. I AM NOT THERE YET but we getting there! Let us pray!

Decepticon couldn’t destroy me the way he wanted to but he destroyed a lot with my brothers. It makes me ANGRY because that’s why I’m at a disadvantage. It doesn't matter how successful I become, I will never be okay with my brothers struggling as I reach for the stars. I want them to be success stories ALSO. My brothers are still pretty masculine regardless of our trauma so they don’t want their little sister helping them with ANYTHING. Every time I TRY to help my brothers, it’s never received well. Its always that macho man ego of I can help myself. CLEARLY YOU CAN’T.

I told my brother not to be so hard on himself. I feel that he blames himself for everything that happened to us. There’s no one to blame but one person DECEPTICON. Since he’s gone, lets talk about it! We talked about our abandonment issues as children. I didn’t even realize this until my brother and I openly had this conversation. I told him I’m tired of being masculine and I’m ready for a man to take care of me. “You’re only masculine because survival from what me and Junior went through. When we came back from Lyman Ward, we put that on to you. That made you too tough.”

I was speechless. I never correlated my masculine energy with my brothers absence and that period of abandonment when they were sent off to Military School. I remember how depressed I was when they were gone. I also remembered the trauma I experienced once I was isolated. I never told them but I almost tried to burn down the house with Decepticon in it. I was THAT frustrated.

I did a lot during my childhood when my brothers were in Military School, I ran away from home. I stayed up all night. I stayed home by myself a lot. It would just be me in the house for hours. All my favorite TV channels were blocked like Disney and Nickelodeon so I watched workout videos, infomercials and other videos late at night that are really for adults and not kids. My brother admitted “You were a girl boy.” I didn’t want him blaming himself for me being this way. We are simply just acknowledging this behavior isn’t natural for who I am. My brother fully supports me being more “feminine” so I can live like how my mother was supposed to. “You want what our mom had?” YES!

Nearly 20 years later, we are finally addressing the wounds from childhood that effected our family. Why would people try and dismantle the relationship between me and my brothers? For more control. Well D-Evil can’t control us anymore.

We will need some serious family THERAPY after all of this is behind us.

I guess once Suave said he was having a baby, we figured we had to come together REAL QUICK. Each one of us are great with kids so this is kind of a big deal. Even my brothers friends this weekend took their kids to the Decatur Festival. His friend Christina just gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. Her first son is only 2 years but that baby is HUGE. It’s definitely giving D1 athlete. When I heard the mother say to my brother “If anything happens to us I want YOU to take care of our house, my kids and I know you will take care of my plants.”

MY brother reassured her he would but I’m thinking to myself “WOW. So this is who we are now as adults. We know exactly what can go wrong once the parents are gone.” That reality both humbled me and inspired me. I told my brother “We should do media together! Do it with me bro! We gotta do it for the people who don’t have siblings or maybe they don’t have parents.” My brother was DOWN for the cause but we will see if he’s really down when its SHOWTIME.

I believe my family has been exploited enough by others. By family I mean ONLY the Mahotiere’s that came from Sauveur Mahotiere and Rahmatoullahy Barry Mahotiere’s genetic pool. Anyone else with the name but not the bloodline is questionable and really I’m starting not to even claim them. Using my father’s name for gain while he’s been dead for years is WILD. Especially seeing how they tried to SH!T on his KIDS, the ones who he loved and was so proud of. My brothers will carry the name but ME? I’m getting a new name once I’m married. However I will always be a Mahotiere. Even after I’m married! I don’t have a middle name anyway. That’s why its important for my brothers to get IT together! My journey of building a family and leaving a legacy behind will be a different path way. It’s different when you are a BOY building a legacy vs when you’re a GIRL. Different rules

I titled this Mingling with the Mahotieres because that is how they tried to exploit us one last time. Before selling our home (for the third time) and forcing us out in the streets, they tried to exploit us to Black Hollywood in Atlanta. We were down because we thought it would benefit us in the future. When they saw the positive feedback we received, Decepticon was afraid of getting exposed so they pulled the show. My evil step sister wanted to exploit my brothers alcohol addiction for a reality TV check. He wasn’t against the idea at the time but now we don’t speak to her

Honestly the show probably would have gotten picked up, but why show our weaknesses? How come we can’t show how far we’ve come after losing our parents? Not how we drink ourselves sick to numb the pain you all caused. I believe healing from our parents death would not have been as hard if we had the right support. It was the emotional manipulation, brainwashing, belittling and exploiting that made me and my brothers “fucked up.” Regardless of how “F’d up” my family thinks we are, I think we are all still AMAZING PEOPLE! Stop playing with our names! When our names come up RESPECT IT! Ya understand me? ALL TREE OF YALL! We are also tree people! My brother showed me all the trees he’s been growing since I’ve been gone! I was really impressed. Algabra, you are truly Sauveur’s child.

Eventually I will be going back home to Atlanta once this Hollywood stuff is all said and done. They don’t have film schools in Atlanta nor do they have anything that gives you this type of information. The Black Hollywood is definitely being gatekept AS IT SHOULD. I’m already a part of that community. A part of me felt like I neglected my community but I had to because my community neglected me. Its not right but its okay. Y’all know the rest. LA is not better than Atlanta but I still get a lot more done here than I can there.

So y’all just be patient with me. Stop asking me questions about what I’m doing or what my plans are. Right now I’m doing whatever I can to make sure me and my brothers are living the way we deserve. Decepticon is GONE and he’s gonna have to face the reality of the consequences ONE day some day. In the mean time I want to focus on building my family back up. We may never do a reality show like Mingling with the Mahotiere’s but maybe we can do something else that isn’t toxic.

No one is perfect including me but I am grateful for the love my family still has for me. Talking to my brother about all my Hollywood horror stories made me feel relieved. We were cracking so many jokes that I was crying REAL tears from laughter. What is great is when people don’t look at you different because they always knew you would do what you said. My brothers are the only one who I can trust to keep me humbled but also keep me hungry. “You really thought LA was up to parr? Nah.”

Laughing at myself is my favorite thing to do. This weekend was full of laughs, love, and liquor. TOO MUCH ALCOHOL. In honor of my mothers birthday month, I’m detoxing. No drinking for awhile.

My mothers birthday is 10/16. IF it wasn’t for her life, me and my brothers wouldn’t even be here.

Thank you mom for having me and my brothers. This month I want us to honor her as her children

Thanks for letting me share

Love Always,

Malon Mahotiere (Slim Shady)

P.S. if you would like to take a look at Mingling with the Mahotieres content, I’ve attached the link

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCX2ZVdwVGjhtvAga-KfxxbA

Disclaimer: I do not speak to anyone in those clips except my brothers. Toxic family members gotta go