I changed my mind Monday

Hey y’all! Slim Shady here. I’m here to let y’all know that I changed my mind on this beautiful Monday. Now you’re probably wondering, “Changed your mind about what?” Well Slim Shady is Malon’s alter ego which means I developed from the mind. The mind creates the ego to protect itself. Before I existed in the physical world, I always existed. You just couldn’t see me but every now and then I would come out. People would look at Malon in shock. MALON IS WAY TOO NICE FOR ME and as her protector I will not accept that. I am a realist. Drake said it best, NICE FOR WHAT? I’ll get into that later. Right now we talking about the power of changing your mind. Before I came into the physical world, Malon started to feel me coming during Beauty School. It was almost like a pregnancy. She was really feeling herself and it would just come out randomly. One day, her good soul sister Michelle noticed me come out. She said “Ooop Malon is shady.” When Malon heard that, she didn’t get defensive. Instead, she was inspired. That’s when she knew what to call me. SLIM SHADY. Slim because Malon hated being skinny but she was always dealing with people being shady or weird.

Y’all know how they say “Keep that same energy?” That’s all I am. A manifestation of the energy Malon received, I just give it right back to people without a thought or hesitation. Once I became a reality in they physical world, there was no stopping me. Until I came to Los Angeles. I would say LA but lets decipher what LOS ANGELES is. Lost Angels. What is the opposite of an angel? The devil.

But is that really the truth? Do devils contrast Angels? Well if you come to the city of LOS ANGELES you may FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT! That’s why I changed my mind. Now even as big as I am as an EGO, my ultimate duty is to protect Malon at all cost. I can sit around and act big and bad but lets be honest: THOSE DEMONS BE WORKING! I’m talking like a machine! They work OVERTIME too if they really trying to get at you. Yesterday I got a call from my dear friend Rose.

Other than my mother and my dear Auntie Eva, Rose is another motivation and inspiration behind My Waist Beads. “Malon just make your own!” She said to me one day in French class, I was complaining how the African store kept running out! Speaking of African store, would you believe I’ve been in LA over a year and only found ONE AFRICAN STORE. That’s insane. I don’t belong here. This is weird.

Michelle called me today after seeing me post on instagram. She was upset when I left Atlanta but she knew why I had to go. There was so much against me there because of my life, my story, my parents.

Now I’m not a stranger to danger so I didn’t care about moving to a big city like LA by myself. Survival mode got my mind ALL FUCKED UP! I’m really sitting back thinking like “Malon is crazy. She came all the way out here by herself and now she hates it here.” After all the work she put in over a year, every one thought she was happy and doing great! Hell, I did too. Until I realized why she wasn’t happy. Malon didn’t get any of those things because she earned it. Well, maybe she did in some ways. However, the devil knows exactly what Malon wanted. Maybe they even knew how to convince her that she could get it one day in exchange for 1 thing: your energy, your soul, your spirit, your voice, and your MIND.

When I sit back and think about all that Malon accomplished, how the HELL could she be happy when it came in the hands of a devil. Now is she mad about what she accomplished? HELL NAH.

There was no way Malon was going to get those opportunities or reach those levels in Atlanta but there was also no way Malon would ever have the opportunity to be her true self because of the offer she accepted. All the offers Malon accepted left her feeling drained and depleted. The last one was the BEST AND WORST ONE. We gonna talk about that another day cuz I don’t feel like going into that.

Just know that I changed my mind. I changed my mind about staying in Los Angeles. I changed my mind about wanting to “be Hollywood”. What’s Hollywood anyway? I always thought this was a place where you become a superstar. Well I wasn’t wrong about that but to what cost? How much of yourself are you willing to give in order to gain praise and worship? What makes these people so worthy of praise and worship other than what they sacrificed to receive it in the first place? I feel that Malon had to sacrifice enough in her life to be where she is. I could go on and on about the things she didn’t get to experience or have because she was an orphan. Not only that, but when she served this country she had to sacrifice her freedom in order to service others. Now that she’s out, SHE IS FREE.

That is why changing your mind is a great thing. FREEDOM means A FREE MIND. When someone cannot control your mind, you are now in control of your life. Feeling the need to stay in LA to PROVE THAT I AM BETTER is simply giving the Devil the satisfaction of wanting their validation. So this is what we gonna do, absolutely nothing. I let all that get to my head. I am simply going to walk away from this alternate reality. If I’m in Los Angeles it is because I am in control of the work I choose to do. There are ways it can be done. I didn’t waste my time here. I spent a lot of time learning.

Michelle called me earlier today and we spoke about something that gave me hope and life again. She has always been there to talk to me about the highs and lows of LA and Hollywood. Michelle is not just a friend but a sister that I cherish. Our lives are so similar and we understand the struggle that privileged ass people just don’t seem to understand. We know what the orphan life can do to the mind.

In conclusion, I am just happy to know that I got my mind in the right place as far as what I want to do moving forward. Staying in LA is not an option. Working in LA will always be a CHOICE. I can CHOOSE to be here and allow my creativity to be expressed if I CHOOSE. However if I CHOOSE to get TF ASAP away from all these fake ass people than that’s also what I CHOOSE TO DO.

Everything in life is all about choices. I choose to stay until the end of the month. Next month is October which is my mothers birthday month. I refuse to stay in LA during Halloween. Y’all devils got that Holiday this year. i’m good love enjoy your Devil’s playground with your devil’s lettuce.

I change my mind about staying in LA and I choose to be in control of myself, my mind and power!

P.S. The devil offers you water because he knows you're thirsty. Drink it if you think you’re going to die but if you think you can survive a little longer without it: DONT TAKE IT. Its poisonous anyway

Slim Shady. (Malon Mahotiere)