Lovers and Friends

HAPPY WAIST BEAD WEDNESDAY! Today’s blog is inspired by the beautiful Nia Long and Jeezy. Lets get into this conversation. If you don’t know, Jeezy aka Young Jeezy aka Jeezy the Snowman has a new album out called “I Might Forgive… But I don’t forget”. He recently filed for divorce. He was married to Jeannie Mai I believe her name is. She was once a TV host. Now before we talk about this conversation between him and Nia Long, let’s talk about Jeezy for a second. YET another debatable KING from Atlanta. How could I forget Jeezy the Snowman. I had a pink TRAP Snowman shirt when I was in the 6th grade that I wore religiously. Jeezy is definitely one talented brother. I’ve always loved his music. When he had that beef with Gucci Mane, I couldn’t choose. Why cant we all just get along?

Anyway, lets talk about Jeannie Mai Jenkins… She seems like the type that may keep his last name. I’m going to be completely honest: I was never here nor there for their relationship. I never knew the chick before she got with Jeezy but when I did my research on the girl I was not impressed with shorty. She had me dead with that “White meat keeps me nice and lean. I like my dark meat on the side.” or whatever she said. Tamar called that sh!t out IMMEDIATELY. “What do you mean by THAT?” She tried to act like she didn’t just say that. Ever since then I wasn't really a fan of hers. Now Jeezy I been a fan. I’m not sure how in the heck did they get together. If I had to guess, I would suggest this is another PR Hollywood relationship gone bad.

When I looked up how they met, apparently it was on the Talk show that she hosts that I do not watch. They also share a baby girl. No one is saying why they’re divorcing but Jeezy filed first. He is on a press run for this album. I remember the black community of women were crushed when they found out that Jeezy The Snowman actually was willing to go for the dark meat on the side. I wondered WHY JEEZY WHY? Then again, its not my business. HOWEVER, he’s now speaking OUT and I’m all ears. He won’t say specifically what went wrong but I can guess a plethora of things. What is crazy to me is how the same black community of women are now on Jeannie side just because she’s a single mother. I thought the black community of women would be happy that Jeezy finally came to his senses and realized he’s more than dark meat on the side. Instead we have mixed feelings within the black community of women. Some of them are happy and some of them are infuriated. I for one am happy for any man that is open to healing and rediscovering his purpose after being in a toxic relationship with a VULTURE.

We cant bypass Jeannie’s comment of dark meat on the side. SHE MEANT THAT! That’s enough for me to think a divorce was justified. I was just waiting to see how long would this fling thing last. Now lets talk about my girl Nia Long. She can do no wrong in my eyes. She’s the reason why I wanted to have short hair. People used to compare me to black actresses when I was growing up. Those women were Nia Long, Kerry Washington and Gabrielle Union. Personally, I think I look like none of them and they don’t look like me. However, the only comparison that would bother me was Gabrielle Union. I did NOT like being compared to her. There was always something about her that I just did not like even as a kid. Although I did love watching her in movies. Great actress I can say she is, that’s about it. Nia Long is probably the one I like the most. I wanted to be like her so bad. My favorite movie with her is Big Momma’s House, Are we there yet? and of course FRIDAY. I liked Nia Long as an actress and as a WOMAN.

When I heard about the conversation between Jeezy and Nia Long, I was in my car listening to the radio. The radio still gives out valuable content. DONT SLEEP. I would have never thought these 2 would link up. I thought to myself “Are they dating or are they just friends? Is this relationship real?” Honestly I couldn’t believe it! I wasn’t expecting these two to be together doing this interview. It was something I didn’t know I needed. I finally got the chance to watch most of it today. I’m going to watch the rest later but from what I have seen so far I LOVE IT! I’m really impressed with Nia Long as an interviewer. She was asking some really good questions. I loved their dynamic. It was the therapy session the culture needs. Jeezy got super vulnerable from the JUMP. He talked about getting molested at a young age which I was shocked! I’m like “DAMN. He’s putting it all out there.” I told yall, you gotta watch out for them babysitters watching your kids. He later talked about his mommy issues and how his relationship with his mother was toxic. SH!T GOT SUPER DEEP! Then Nia Long opened up. She started crying and I almost started crying. He asked her about how she was feeling. Nia Long is a great example of a woman who was cheated on and moved it along. She didn’t do too much theatrics on it. She was a REAL woman about it. She didn’t try to play the victim. She handled that SO WELL. She didn’t accuse him of traumatizing her. CHEATING IS NOT TRAUMATIZING unless being cheated on somehow triggered untreated trauma. That is the only exception to this. Lets use Jeezy as an example. I’m not saying Jeannie Mai cheated on him but lets say she did. That could possibly be triggering to other emotional trauma

Now one may wonder how can you correlate being cheated on to previous trauma. I believe that if you experienced a series of traumatic events, and someone betrays you then it’s not the CHEATING that is traumatizing but the reinforcement of emotions that come with untreated trauma. Meaning if someone cheats on you, and you have abandonment wounds from trauma or trust issues then that is triggering. In those circumstances I can understand why one may be traumatized by cheating. As a TRAUMA QUEEN, I need a full evaluation of both parties to understand if cheating is linked to trauma or not. Personally, I think people know when it is and it isn’t. In Nia Long’s case, I believe it is emotionally difficult to deal with but I wouldn’t say she is necessarily traumatized by it. She admits that she has to be strong for her sons. She also talked about the importance of loving yourself enough to know when enough is enough. She also didn’t blame anyone for his actions, not even herself. She acknowledged that buddy made a choice and she had to make hers. I commend her overall as a woman on how she handled that. She didn’t mock PTSD or trauma because of someone else’s action. I RESPECT THAT.

Jeezy being vulnerable to Nia Long is the conversation that the black community needs to see happen. Everything about it was so beautiful because they talked about healing and why it is important. There were so many gems. A lot of what they discussed is what I preach on here about healing and why you cant expect others to be on board. Sometimes you gotta leave people exactly where they are and love them from a distance. If people aren’t willing to heal than you have every right to focus back on your healing. My favorite part was when he talked about his meditation and healing his inner child. I SAID WOW! Black men need to see this because it will show how vulnerability can be a good thing if you have a safe space. I commend Nia Long for being a receptive woman to give Jeezy the opportunity to discuss things that are really hard. Their conversation was ALOT. From the start, I said DAMN. I gotta watch this in doses. I had no idea Jeezy went through all of that but it made me respect him so much more.

This interview also made me think of the song he has with Mariah Carey called “Side Effects”. That’s the first song on my “Healing” playlist. “They try to confuse me. I never let 'em use me!” When I first heard this song, I cried. It really touched me. Mariah Carey aka The Queen of Christmas is another inspiration to me. I read her book “The Meaning of Mariah Carey.” I have another level of love for this woman after reading it. One thing about that song that touched me is how vulnerable she is about how naive she was when she was young. I think that song is powerful because it’s pretty much the same concept of his new album.

“Forgive but don’t forget.” That song is dedicated to my legal guardian . That is exactly how I felt once I finally cut him out of my life. The side effects from that relationship to me was more difficult than I could have anticipated. I encourage healing for both men and women because of side effects. When people hurt you, you cant just move on like everything is fine. Especially when it is done to the point where you were either mentally, physically, emotionally or psychologically impacted by them. My legal guardian may not be in America anymore but I still have to live with the side effects of his actions. I chose to forgive him because I refuse to allow him to have any more power over me. Just because I’m willing to forgive him for his heinous crimes, I still could never forget what that man did.

We all deserve to heal in a safe space. I titled this blog lovers and friends because I couldn’t tell what these two were after watching their interview. I wondered if they were lovers or friends or both? Either way I’m happy for them and we all deserve a lover or a friend willing to provide a safe space to HEAL.

Thank you so much JEEZY AND NIA LONG for a very much needed public dialogue. Thank you for your vulnerability and ability to express your trauma in such a classy, yet articulate manner. KUDOS

I’ve attached the link to their interview

https://youtu.be/YZhyxRv4CyE?si=o0tw_qAPiQqvWrlG

Side effects by Mariah Carey feat Jeezy

https://youtu.be/ebzLdC5NIRM?si=a_Q0_e2wOgX5jCN3

Thanks for letting me share!

-Malon Mahotiere