#TeamMel

Greetings! In honor of Throwback Thursday, I want to take yall back! As I do so well when I was Mel. I’m going back to my old ways. Once upon a time I used to go by Mel. This was a nickname I didn’t ask for but I owned it. For the sake of this blog I want to acknowledge my childhood best friend, Len. She’s the one who gave me this nickname.

Len and I used to be besties. Her real name is Leigh-Ann but I gave her the nickname Len. We bonded over not being from Atlanta and being foreign. Len was from Long Island New York and I technically am from Greenwich Connecticut. Len is Jamaican YAH MON. She was the first friend I had that was fascinated at the fact that I was born in Africa. I used to lie and tell people I was born in Georgia like my brothers. When I told Len I was born in Africa her response was “That is so cool!”

Len and I met on social media (myspace) but we already knew each other from having mutual friends. I sent her a message during the summer time suggesting we be friends and we did just that! Next thing you know, we ended up in the same History class in 8th grade. When I think of our friendship together as a whole it was very bittersweet. It is unfortunate that our friendship ended the way it did but if I could say anything to her I would say THANK YOU GIRL! See when I was Mel, Leigh-Ann was Len. We were being silly when we gave each other those names. We became besties right before high school. One day, our substitute teacher was doing roll call. She attempted to say my name but couldn’t get it out “M-m-m-el?” Leigh- Ann bust out laughing! She thought it was hilarious that she couldn’t say my name. Leigh-Ann says “How did she get Mel?”

Leigh-Ann would not let that go! She thought it was both hilarious and stupid for her to call me that. We used to make fun of how dumb people in the South were. Len was very smart and so was I but by the time we became friends, I dumbed myself down to “be cool”. However, Len was always very smart. To make fun of her back I said, “People mispronounce your name Leigh-Ann. They say it like LEN.” Then I started mocking how the boys in the South said Leigh-Ann’s name. We laughed at ourselves. “Stupid Mel” and “Stupid Len” was an inside joke at how stupid people sounded when they tried to pronounce our names. We would call each other it as a joke. “Hey Stupid Mel!” “Hey Stupid Len!” Than when we got to high school my cousin (who later broke up our friendship) gave me a great idea. She said “Yall names go together: MELEN.” When I thought about it I said “Wow she’s right!” That’s when our friendship name was born: MeLen. This nickname carries over into social media. I gave her the idea of her name Jaaayleno. I came up with _singamelody because everyone knew I loved to sing. When I got to High school I started my Twitter which later got deleted by the government I assume. Len is still going strong with the Jaaayleno. Congrats girl! They didn’t cancel you. Although when our friendship ended, I was hoping my nickname would die with it. NOPE.

Me and Len stopped being friends in 2017. Our friendship ending was not what I expected but if I had to be honest, I think it was for the best. We had been friends for nearly 10 years. Len was more than a friend to me, she was like family. Even to this day, I still love her family like my own. They treated me like I was a daughter. I even called her parents “Mom” and “Dad”. We did EVERYTHING together. Len’s mom even got me my first job at Kohls. We went school shopping together. Len would share her free lunch with me at school. When my legal guardian would abandon us, Len would always let me stay at her house for however long. I practically lived with Len. I’ve always been an orphan but I don’t think I was treated the same way as other orphans. People always seemed to embrace me into their homes. I’m not sure if other orphans got the same privilege I did. When I think about the dynamic of me and Lens friendship, we were like the ultimate besties. We set the blue print. Sometimes I think about where would we have been had we remained friends. We even started a business together: First it was MB Luxury Hair and then we created MB Affairs. M for my last name and B for hers. Len’s family was like family to me. Her little brother was a huge Lebron James fan. I remember always asking him about basketball. His name was J.R. named after Len’s father. J.R. had Lebron’s jersey, shoes, posters etc

Whatever Team Lebron played for, J.R. made sure to represent. I remember when he played in Miami then went back to Cleveland. J.R. had both Jerseys. Every time I saw J.R. I would ask about Lebron because I knew how much of a fan he was. He loved to talk about basketball when he was a kid. Len and I loved watching basketball with J.R. and her father. Sometimes my brothers or cousins would go over her house and we all watched basketball together. Len would always call me “Mel” but she also called me “Mello” for fun like the NBA player Carmelo. Len calling me “Melllllloooo!” lives rent free in my head. I can hear her now. I would make up different variations of my nickname. Here’s to name a few: Melnificent, Marshmelllo, and the infamous Deezmelonz.

MeLen was more than a friendship, it was a MOVEMENT. Recently, Michelle aka Queen of Press ATL said something to me that I always think about, “It’s crazy that you and Leigh-Ann aren’t friends anymore. If yall were friends, she would be the perfect person for what you’re trying to be on.” When I think about how many friends I’ve lost over the years, nothing hurt more than losing Len as a friend. It took me years to get over that hurt. Not only was I hurt over that friendship, so was everyone else. People asked “What happened?” I wish I knew. Everything happened so fast. It was never my intention for our friendship to end the way it did. Right before my apartment burned down, I publicly apologized for how our friendship ended on her birthday. Len is a Sagittarius. Her birthday is in 11 days. We always celebrated birthdays and holidays together. I never had to be alone because Len was my best friend. When we got older, I think people really just wanted to break up our friendship. I still believe it was no one’s fault. Life comes at you fast. I don’t expect Len to understand what I was going through at that time. I was always the “strong” friend. I was mad at her but later forgave her after realizing the truth. Sometimes people don’t realize what they are doing because they are being misled.

Me and Leigh-Ann stopped being friends because of my family members. They were jealous of our friendship. When I really sit back and think about it, they were ALL jealous. Leigh-Ann had her ways. Len wasn’t perfect but she was like my ride or die bestie. Len was down for whatever. We snuck out the house together, underage drank together, got in trouble, double dated, and almost GOT SHOT! She was also there when I got hit by a car. Our memories are endless. I’ll never forget that night we snuck out of her house to go to a house party. We promised NEVER to do house parties after that night we almost got shot. That was also the same night I saw my friend Torian (DRO) for the last time. He passed away from suicide. God rest his soul. Len and I got to the party and not even 5 minutes later, they started fighting. We ran out of there together! We thought we were escaping the madness. Then next thing you know, we see a guy pull out a gun and aim it! I have never been so scared for us. Whenever I talk about my trauma, I forget to mention the night me and Len almost got shot. That was VERY TRAUMATIZING. We low-key got shot at. I remember running in front then turning to yell back “HE GOT A GUN!” Next thing you know GUN SHOTS FIRED! Me and Len ran so fast behind a house. We sat together underneath somebodies porch. We listened to the gunshots and started screaming crying. Then we called her cousin to see if she was okay. They were all still at the party. We were running to the car and ended up running in the shooters direction. Len and I stayed underneath those people’s house FOR HOURS! I just remember thinking “I hope no one died.” Luckily, no one died. When we snuck back in her house we said “No more house parties for us.”

That’s when we started going to “kickbacks” then eventually got old enough to start “clubbing.” Everyone knew who me and Len were as soon as we stepped into the building. We were the IT girls. Light Skin Keisha was Len’s archnemesis also. She hated both of us together but hated me more because I was dark skin. Len and I were always unbothered by the haters. People really hated our friendship. People questioned if Len was really my friend. I would have to say YES. If I’m comparing all my other friends from my childhood, Len was THE BESTEST. I will say that she would be trifling at times. There were a lot of times I DID question our friendship. There were times I questioned if she was jealous of my light but overall she was there for me like no one else. Len was always there for me until 1 day she wasn’t. I was hurt by that. I never hesitated to share my light with Len and she never failed to tell people how amazing I was. Len definitely had her ways but if we are being completely honest, never have I ever had a friend like her. I realize now that no friendship is perfect.

When I found out Len’s grandma passed away, I cried like it was my grandma. She’s the one who took Len over my house the first time we ever hung out together. I stayed at Grandmas house plenty times. We even threw a party there together. There are so many memories I shared with that girl that I will cherish. When we stopped being friends, people felt compelled to pick a side. Deep down I knew our friendship would end one day. I didn’t really want it to but I knew it was coming. Before My Waist Beads, Miss Hair Lady or Malon Salon, I would always market myself as MEL. I had “Waistbeadsbymel” and “Stylesbymelody”. #TeamMel was my support group of everything I did. It stood for “Motivating & Elevating Lives.” We created MB Affairs once we got older. We thought it sounded more professional. Once our friendship ended, I decided to go with my government name.

I’m just here to say THANK YOU to my once best friend Leigh-Ann Boland. Although we had an ugly nasty friendship breakup, I will never forget the life we spent as besties. There is no way I can ever repay her for the lessons I learned throughout our friendship. Sometimes I miss having a right hand bestie. This chapter in my life is requiring me to ride solo but if I could say something to Len it would be “GIRL! THANK YOU FOR MY NICKNAME.” I’m bringing back Mel not because of Len. I’m bringing back Mel because she was a part of my identity serving from the best parts of childhood. She was someone I forgot I once was. Once my legal guardian sold our house, life got serious for me. I don’t expect Len to understand every detail of my life but she was there for a lot of it before sh!t got real. Len knows some information about my life but not ALL. We were too young to even care. Being friends with Len was an escape for my reality. Once our friendship ended, I had to accept all the truth. A lot of things weren’t revealed to me until AFTER I turned 25. We stopped being friends way before I learned the truth about things.

If you’re reading this Len just know that I still got nothing but love for you and your family. Even if we never see or speak to each other again, I want you to know that I want nothing but the best for you in life and your little brother J.R. We may not talk anymore and you may not know of anything going on in my life but THANK YOU for being a friend once upon a time. We traveled down many roads and back again. We grew up from childhood until womanhood. If I could go back in time and change anything, I would change how I handled all the pain I felt. I’m not here to place blame. I’m repping #TeamMel if all else fails. I love my nickname and I never want it to die. Love never dies, it transforms.

If Len can still rep Jaaayleno, than I gotta represent. Mel is still very much a part of me

Thanks for letting me take yall back on this beautiful Throwback Thursday!

-Malon aka Mel