Last day in my 20s: TGIF

Greetings! Today is officially the last day of my 20s. When the clock strikes 12:00 at midnight, I’ll be Flirty 30 and purrrrrrty. Time to get down and dirty! Let the games begin! Ladies and gentleman, I am entering my hot mama sugar baby era. This is the life I deserve and I refuse to believe otherwise. Right now I am in Miami and I’m grateful for this trip considering that it was on someone else’s dime. I love that for me. I deserve this life. As I sit and reflect on my last decade I must say that I’ve been doing the girl thing all wrong. When I arrived to my destination I didn’t hesitate to hit up every man I could get in contact with that lives in Miami. I’m here for a good time not a long time. I’m here to freestyle and I am here to have fun. Turns out I won’t have to celebrate my birthday alone after all which is great.

Ever since the year started I’ve been having night mares. My last night mare was the last straw for me. I woke up crying before getting ready to go to work. I didn’t plan to leave for Miami so early but I’m glad I did. I stayed up all night watching Katt Williams 3 hour long interview with Shannon Sharpe. That interview not only inspired me but it also enlightened me as well. After the year I experienced in 2023 I think its safe to say that I’m over celebrities. I wouldn’t go as far as saying they are normal people because that would be dishonest. Celebrities are not like normal people but they are human. Sometimes we glorify these public figures because they have talent, skills, money or they are just famous even if they have none of the above. We look at them as if they are worthy of worship and praise. I would like to argue that some of them are deserving of it to a degree. I am not here to minimize public figures and their accomplishments. There are celebrities I looked up to because of their journey but than I had to ask myself: What makes me any different than them? It is true that I have never been on TV or been in a movie. My name has never been mentioned in a Hollywood credited body of work. However, if I look at the last decade of my life, I would like to argue that my journey is just as inspirational but in my own personal way. Maybe you don’t aspire to be an entrepreneur or a licensed beauty professional but if you look at the circumstances of my life: I beat the odds. I made it a lot further than people with living parents. Considering that I will be 30 means my parents have been dead for 29 years. The life I created for myself should be celebrated. There is nothing wrong with someone looking at my journey and feeling inspired, motivated or encouraged.

My celibacy journey alone is commendable. My Air Force career deserves recognition. My beauty and barbering career can inspire anyone interested in that field. I truly don’t give myself enough credit. Katt Williams said something in the interview that really stuck out to me but I cant quote him verbatim “A lot of these people’s confidence are delusions.” I felt that I was both. My confidence was fueled by delusion but my confidence is mastered by self. I always strived to be better even when all odds were against me. Yesterday I finally submitted my publishing for my children book “Birds in the Sky”. This is my birthday gift to the world. This book is my way of saying thank you to my parents who I love. Yesterday at work, one of my managers kept asking me personal questions about my life which I really don’t like. I have to accept that people are not only fascinated with me but my story as well. I don’t know why the world loves to glorify trauma. My manager said to me “This is what I want you to do. Go back to your country. This is a must. I am not suggesting it, I am telling you. You have to go.”

If there is any time I should go back to Guinea, Conakry it will be in my 30s. My mentality on life has shifted. My life purpose isn’t what it used to be. I thought my purpose in life was to make people feel good about themselves but that is very surface level. My purpose in life is to create, motivate and inspire based on the truth of my life. Everyone seemed to be in an uproar by Katt Williams interview. This only made me invested even more into the whole damn 3 hours of it. After listening to his story, I realized how relatable he is to myself in a lot of ways. Again, some public figures are deserving of praise for their ability to overcome adversities and obtain levels of success. I have nothing against celebrities but I am not fascinated by them. I am interested only if you peek my interest. There has to be something about you that makes me appreciate the person you are whether the world knows you or not. When you throw fame into the game, it can deceive people. My experience in Los Angeles was nothing but a confirmation for what I already knew. I have exactly what Hollywood is looking for. I don’t have some made up story that sounds good. I am a living, breathing, walking, talking miracle baby. Like Michelle said to me years ago, “Your life is prophecy.” I didn’t understand the value of being as such but it’s nothing but the truth so help me God. Going to Hollywood was the best thing I could have ever done for myself. I will never regret that decision but I have to be realistic. I wasn’t prepared for what I was up against. I still had a lot of growing to do. I still needed more information to seek out.

God bless the parents that made me: Dr. Sauveur Mahotiere and Rahmatoullahy Barry Mahotiere. One thing I will never allow people to do is compare themselves to me. It is fine if people want to relate to me because of the life I had as an orphan but my genetic code is designed for myself only. My 20s showed me that people will most definitely hate on your genetics. If my parents would have never died I wonder sometimes would people still feel the need to challenge me. My biggest insecurity has always been my trauma. I hate when people use it against me. I hate when people think that I am less than them just because my parents are dead. Respectfully, my parents been dead. Yall gonna have to come up with another excuse to belittle me. I’m going to be a mother in my 30s. I have no doubt that a man will get me pregnant if given the opportunity. That’s why I’m in no rush to have sex even though I am ending my celibacy. I would only have sex with a man that I would consider procreating with. If I don’t see myself combining my genetic code with yours than the answer is a hard no for me. Sex just for fun doesnt seem fun at all. What is more fun for me is making men pay for things or give me things without me having to have sex with them at all. Michelle made a very good point last night. We were talking about why some girls are mad that I’m ending my celibacy. “You can’t beat purity pu$$y. That’s always gonna win over a vagina that’s been ran through. You did the work so it’s definitely gonna hit different and whoever hit gonna feel that sh!t. That’s why they really mad. You can’t beat pure pu$$y especially if the man is spiritual.” If there’s one thing I can count on is for Michelle to speak the truth. Sometimes the truth hurts but the truth will set you free. Even for my own story, I didn’t want to tell people the truth because of how ugly it was. People really want to know what happened after Dr. Sauvuer Mahotiere died with his wife and 3 children in the car. Are you all prepared to handle the truth of the reality I’ve been living?

I owe it to the world to share my story. Katt Williams interview set the tone for the year. Yes a lot of celebrities caught strays from that but what can you say? Katt Williams is a writer. A lot of people take short cuts. A lot of people take hand outs and are willing to do whatever to be wherever they perceive to be successful without putting in the work and expect praise. The first time I ever stepped foot in Hollywood, the first thing they told me when I was in the position to “pitch” my story was not to sell it. There was not a single person in that room that looked like me. They told me if I sell it, I will regret it because they will rewrite it and it won’t be the truth. My teacher who I still admire and appreciate to this day encouraged that my story could help millions of people. I was 25 at the time. I finally cut off my legal guardian for good. I was accepting the truth of my life and chose to live in it. Here is the hard truth: my life is nothing but an unsolved mystery. Someone wrote me last year to tell me names of the people involved in the “conspiracy” of my fathers death. After doing my research I realized this woman was in fact correct.

The journey to discover and uncover the truth has been a painful yet enlightening one. The journey really isn’t over. This is both the beginning and the end. That is what we are celebrating. When the clock strikes 12, I will enter a new portal of self discovery. My aspirations to have birthday sex is rooted in sexual frustration or deprivation. I definitely want to love more and be open to intimacy. This is the main reason why I am choosing flirty over dirty. Now if the girls suddenly want to be flirty for 30, we all know who set that tone. Yall had no issue being dirty but I am going into my 30 with a clean track record. This weekend is a celebration. I am celebrating life until January 20th which is the last final days of Capricorn season. Once the Aquariuses start to make their debut, I’m going back into hiding until pisces season. I don’t have the energy for air signs. They’re too fake for me.

With the exception of Gemini’s, air signs and I never seem to mesh well. Gemini’s only get a pass because they do have 1 real side. The other air signs are faker than these BBL booties. As a Capricorn, I am half goat, half sea creature. Therefore I’m okay with people who have different sides to who they are but if one of those sides are fake to the point of deception, I just cant do it. To me, a fake person is one who deceives more frequently than accepting who they are. At least us capricorns know when we capping. We gotta establish boundaries for the real vs the fake. Everyone has a fake side. Being fake means putting on a mask or deceiving others for the sake of it. We are all capable of being fake. There comes a point when you have to either take off that mask, or live in your truth to the reality of who you are as a person. Unfortunately people do not want to accept who they are or they don’t know who they are.

I am making a commitment to myself to love myself with all the good, bad and the ugly truths of my life despite who thinks otherwise. In my 30s I am committed to loving the people that love me. I am committed to accepting people who make an effort to extend their love to me. I don’t have the energy to love those who do not love themselves and I am not interested in loving people who don’t love me.

With all the wisdom, knowledge, experience and lessons I learned in the past decade of my life: it would only be right to share it as much as I can to those who are willing to listen and learn. I don’t have to be loud to celebrate myself. Confidence is silence. Insecurity is loud. People will notice I will be doing less and more all at once. This is just the name of the game. Moving in silence is key. You all should already know enough of what my plans are based on what I already expressed. The best thing to do as I start this new chapter is to talk to God and my spiritual guides and let the magic happen. Cheers to another year of life! Cheers to reaching another decade! Cheers to all the future endeavors!

Happy Birthday to all my fellow Sea Goats!

#TeamCapricorn

-Malon Mahotiere