Sing a Melody

Greetings! Happy Monday! I am the master of my abilities and today will be a great beautiful day! Now that we got that out the way, I want to talk about last night in Las Vegas for the Super Bowl. Any excuse to come to Las Vegas, I’m taking it. When I found out that Usher was performing in Las Vegas, I just knew I had to be there. Although I wasn’t actually there at the game. I watched the game with a bunch of strangers until one of my people from back in the day hit me up to link up. When I got to the location, the game was coming to an end. I spent a lot of time watching people’s reaction rather than watching the game. However there were so many things about the Super Bowl last night that really inspired me. First, my twin Post Malone playing the guitar was very dope. He performed “America The Beautiful” which I loved. Next was none other than the Usher performance.

Seeing Usher perform with the people I grew up listening to made me realize how timeless music is. Some of the songs he performed are older than my baby niece and nephew. It put me into a mindset of longevity. When he wore roller-skates as part of the performance I was impressed with their choreography. It reminded me of when I was young and everyone would love to go to the skating rink.

I think what stood out to me the most was how effortless Usher’s performance was. He had no sign of fear, fright or failure lingering in his psyche. You could tell that he was present and prepared for this. What I enjoyed most was seeing the collaborative efforts of the dancers and the other artists that came out like H.E.R. and her guitar. It made me think of my late Uncle Cami, who also loved the guitar. Alicia Keys performance reminded me how much I used to love playing the piano. Seeing the background singers and dancers reminded me how much I loved performing with my choir when I was in High School. Everyone thought somebody was going to make it out of Shiloh High School Concert Choir. Unfortunately for me, I was never supported to pursue performing arts. My legal guardian did not want more attention on me than I already naturally get. Pursuing performing arts would have been a great outlet for me. No one told me that you could go to college for music. No one told me that you could take piano lessons at school. I never knew doing theatre is how you start an acting career and I had no idea there was an education system that can help you achieve these type of dreams.

For many years, I felt very betrayed and misguided by my community. Everyone knew how much I loved to sing and dance. I loved playing the piano as well but music was always just for fun. I never thought of it like a job or a profession. I asked a lot of questions but no one had the answers I needed. My chorus teacher in High School did not set me up for success the way he did his other students. I resented him for it. I attended choir since 4th grade. My permanent records would have shown that I’ve been singing since Elementary school. A recommendation to a school would have been great. Maybe I could have received a scholarship because I’m an orphan and my father was a professor. Instead other students got the opportunity to go to school with a scholarship for music. I was left to go to community college which I never graduated from. I believe I let depression get the best of me. As I’m sitting here writing, thinking and processing what I witnessed last night, I realize how limiting fear can be. I can sit here and be upset at people in my community for not being helpful but I was also very fearful. I was afraid of “the spotlight” and I hate too much attention. However, there was nothing I hated more than being homeless. Honestly, I don’t blame celebrities for “selling their soul” because sometimes that is literally all you have. It is crazy to think about how I was living the last couple of months. I thought to myself “Imagine if you were famous, someone would offer to help.”

Being famous isn’t really the goal. My goal is to not live in regret. My goal is to live with satisfaction. I want to live my life knowing that I did everything that I wanted to do during my time on earth. Now that I’m 30, everything hits different. I thought about having kids, and what would they think about my life one day? Would I be one of those moms who talk about who they “could” have been because those types annoy me. Social media did a great thing for society. It helped people have a better perspective of others even if its manipulated or altered. When I got on social media I had so many alias but the most infamous one was “@_singamelody”

_singamelody was my twitter and instagram handle until 2017 when my legal guardian sold our home. Once I decided to go by Malon Salon, things were different. I have nothing against MALON SALON. What I created was brilliant however, I miss who I was when I was younger. I was in denial about a lot of things. I was not aware of a lot of things. People lied to me so much. They kept so much away from me. Becoming MALON SALON meant learning to love myself not the image I created. I created _singamelody because everyone called me Mel and I loved singing. People never said I couldn’t sing, but no one really encouraged me to pursue it. I decided to pursue it once I became an adult but I would always let fear stop me. When I enrolled in Atlanta Institute of Music and Media, I had my 1st black WOMAN music teacher and she changed my life. I love people who always keep it real with me.

Dre kept it alllll the way real with me and till this day I still hear her voice in my head. She would push me beyond my comfort zone. I remember she asked “Malon, do you have a boyfriend?” I said no. Dre says, “Do you have a guy you really really like?” I thought about it and during that time, I did. So I said “Yes!” She said to me, “Okay, I want you to act like he’s walking in the room and you’re singing these words to him. Have you ever been in love?” I answered no. “Well I’m gonna need you to fall in love so you can perform better because right now you sound emotionless. Like you’re dead inside. No one wants to see that or hear that. You gotta have some emotion behind it.” Ever since than I always sing like I’m singing to a lover or friend. Before I would sing like a zombie. No feelings at all. I was too afraid of being vulnerable in that way. I’ll never forget Dre’s lectures and how serious she was about vocal performance. I was not serious at all but I was also depressed. I always had an excuse. My piano teacher and vocal coach Josh was also the same way. I really actually loved that school. Those teachers really cared about me even though I kept failing. Because I was talented and I had a voice they worked with me but I gave up. I just left and moved to LA. It’s almost as if I sabotaged my own career because of fear of actually making it.

It’s not that you don’t want to win. If you ask anyone, do you want to win in life there answer will be yes but you have to know what lies underneath your thoughts. After your thoughts comes your subconscious mind. That is what needs to be adjusted. When athletes don’t perform their best it isn’t because they don’t want to win but mentally something is blocking them. That was my problem and my teachers knew it. Josh would tell me during my tutor sessions “I could see you got it but than you lose it. It’s almost like its hard for you to do what you already know. You’re thinking too much.” The real problem is that I associate music with the therapy it was for me as a child. Now that I’m an adult, it serves the same purpose but not really. When it would be time to perform, I’m not thinking about what I should be thinking about. My mind goes blank. I cant even describe it. All I can say is that I have not allowed myself to get back into that phase until last night. Von was someone I was really close to when I was younger. Seeing him last night made me remember who I used to be. “It’s good seeing you instead of just seeing you on social media.” This is why I love social media but it can get toxic. People that have known me for years can see me and think “she looks fine”. If you aren’t in my life or you don’t have my cell phone number (I’ve kept this one for over a year now) than you cant really say you “know me” and that goes for family also. The people who really know me are the ones who keep in contact with me beyond social media. The people that know me best are those who spend time with me in real life. If you have the luxury of seeing me live in the flesh than that means you got lucky. After what I experienced after the apartment fire, I refuse to just be in anybody’s face. That was the beauty about being _singamelody. I was very exclusive but always included. I stayed to myself.

I don’t know how long I’ll be in Vegas but I’m here to start planting the seeds to pursue my dreams. I already know what to do. I went to enough schools and received enough education training on this but it doesn’t hurt to do more. Media and journalism is still a passion of mine but music deserves my undivided attention. I cant keep allowing myself to sabotage the potential success I may have if I pursue it as seriously and aggressively as I know it needs to be done. I would love to go back to school and see all my music teachers again.

If I do that, I need to make sure that I am ready for it

Thank you Usher for putting on an amazing show! Another thing that inspired me was Beyonce. I loved her commercial. I saw that she dropped 2 new songs which I listened to this morning. I really like 16 carriages especially since 16 is my favorite number. Beyonce used to be a huge inspiration for me but I think since I’ve gotten older, it isn’t the same. Although she does motivate me and I am inspired by her work. She is very determined. Whatever her driving force is, I respect her for allowing it to make her create. Being able to create is a luxury and a privilege. Creating art is not something you can do in an uncomfortable environment. You need a safe space to create. Even for myself when I create waist beads, I have to make sure I’m safe and comfortable otherwise I won’t create. The last thing I want to say is that I feel a lot more comfortable than ever before. Therefore I will be going back to making and designing waist beads starting this month. March 2nd I will be doing my 1st event which will be at Coco Drip in Atlanta. I refuse to do what I did last year when I barely did pick ups and only 1 event.

On this beautiful Monday, I want to focus on my talents and gifts. I want to plan for my future and my future children. I loved being a hair stylist but I love being a barber more. I loved singing in a choir but I loved pursuing vocal performance a lot more. There’s so much more I want to say but I’ll just stop here. Just know that today on this Monday, I am most definitely feeling motivated after last night.

Thanks for letting me share!

Be blessed.

Love always,

Malon Mahotiere