Pink Wednesday

Greetings! Happy Waist Bead Wednesday! It is officially Spring time and I couldn’t be more happier! That means we are getting closer and closer to the Summer time. I already know this is going to be the best summer of my life thus far and I’m excited about that. Today is supposed to be Nicki Minaj’s Pink Friday Gag City Concert.

However, I saw on social media that she canceled her show in New Orleans. She also posted that she thought she had covid but she doesn’t. She asked her fans to send her “healing” energy. When I reached out to the ticketing company, they said the show will go on but we will see. It’s officially been 1 week since I arrived back from Colombia. I feel I have finally recovered from that interesting trip.

When I arrived back from Colombia, I knew I was going to start a new job. What I didn’t know is that I was going to want to quit as soon as I started. I went to another job interview and got hired instantly. “I already knew I would hire you and I knew you would be amazing! I loved your resume!”

That is the type of energy I need when I go into a job. If a company is diligent enough to research who they hire, than there shouldn’t be any questions about my performance until I start. That is the only way to give me a fair assessment. Why hire someone than create an illusion of doubt with them all because you hired the wrong people in the past? That’s not my issue. I’m only able to be the best of my abilities. I was getting frustrated because I thought I put myself back into a sinking hole. I talked to my manager yesterday and I realized that maybe I’m mental tripping, ego tripping or both.

Yesterday at work, my manager hired my 1st manager ever. When I first started cutting, I worked at Sport Clips. I will never forget that experience. I wanted to prove myself so bad. I’ll never forget how that manager made me feel. She made me feel as if I would never have what it takes. I remember going to work and leaving in tears because I was that discouraged. She had me second guessing if I should even be cutting. I felt so discouraged that I went back to school to get my 300 hours in. Atlanta Beauty and Barber Academy is when I officially became a BARB. I was always a BARB but when I decided I wanted to be a barber, I compared myself to Nicki Minaj. I told myself “I want to be the Nicki Minaj of the barber industry. I’m going to be just as good as the guys if not better than they are.”

My first day of Barber school I learned everything I needed for this industry. It was very simple: confidence. My barber friends really hyped me up in just that 1 day. I will never forget those boys. They all have a special place in my heart and ironically they all have their own barbershops as well. When I think about the people I was surrounded by during that time, God truly blessed me with an amazing support of really talented dope barber and business men. I remember going back to Sport Clips feeling excited and happy! I had all this confidence from only 1 day of barber school. Since I already had my license, I didn’t need to stay as long as the boys did. I only needed to do 300 hours.

In the end, I realize I have to keep pushing through regardless of what I am feeling. When I think about Nicki Minaj as an artist and a female rapper, I could only imagine the amount of men and women who constantly try to break down her confidence. Deep down, there are people who wish they were in your position but they don’t have what it takes. They know they could never take what is already built in.

I had enough of the power play moves in Los Angeles. I didn’t come back to Atlanta to deal with the same BS which is what I expressed. That is my only issue. My mind needs to let go of everything that happened and be open to new opportunities. That sounds easy to do but when you see a pattern developing, it’s time to raise an eyebrow. Thinking back on my journey as a barber, I feel that the only good thing I can’t deny is the money. You know the saying “All money aint good money.” That is a good analogy when I think about what it means to be in the beauty and barbering industry. I’ve made a lot of money but left feeling completely drained of energy. If I had to guess what it felt like to “sell your soul” my assumption would be that it is equivalent to being a slave. One of the educators from the Bronner Brothers said she felt chained to the chair as if she couldn’t go anywhere or do anything else.

This is something I felt after awhile. That is when I decided to take that break 9 months ago. I was tired of the industry. I was tired of the weird energy. I was tired of the overly controlling people and the competitiveness. More importantly, I was tired of standing up on my feet all day and being considered “the help”. I need that time to recover.

Now that I’m back cutting, I have to mentally prepare myself for what ever is going to happen. I cant even prepare for what’s going to happen because I don’t even know. I just need to be prepared for the unexpected. That could be something good or something challenging. I’m not sure when I start my second job but I made sure to get one just in case. My manager called me “tough” but she said I can see you have “heart” which is true. I put all my heart and soul into this industry and I’m starting to think that is not the best thing to do. I cannot keep being emotionally invested into the work that I do. I need to find a healthy balance.

A part of me feels that working for other people takes away from me working on myself or for myself. There is always that feeling of guilt when I start a new job that I may somehow be neglecting my business. That’s why it is important to find other alternatives to get money. I don’t want to be a slave.

This summer I want to focus on my waist beads business because the last 2 summers I’ve been neglecting it. I’ve been so focused on being a “BARB” and wanting to be the “BEST”. I took some time off to rest and now its GAME TIME b!tchez. In the words of Queen Nicki Minaj. Hopefully her show isn’t canceled today but either way I still will support her if it is. I want to get cute for her concert if its still happening. I’m just going to go and enjoy the show if they still have one. The last time I saw Nicki Minaj in concert was during her Pink Print tour. She was dating Meek Mill and I just came home from Basic Military Training. That was when I officially decided to be celibate. I will never forget I had to go to her concert in my military uniform because my ex wanted to be an a$$hole that day.

I realized than I made the right decision being celibate. That ex was the last person I had sex with. Now that my celibacy journey is over, I understand why it was necessary to do it. I would encourage all women to be celibate for a short period just to see what happens. I decided to be celibate so I could focus on my career. That was the best thing I could have done. I’m exactly where I believe I should be for my age. I just turned 30 and I’m already stiff competition to the people who once doubted me.

In conclusion, I’m just going to take it day by day

Just wait to see what happens.

Hopefully I see Nicki Minaj but if not I hope she feels better!

Thanks for letting me share!

-Malon Mahotiere