TGIF! January recap

Greetings! Jumbo! Happy Black History Month! TGIF! I want to recap what last month meant for me. Was it me or did January feel like one long drawn out movie? I’m so glad we are in February. I will keep this short and sweet like this month should be. I started out the New Year in New York and ended the year in Miami. I traveled 5 times in January: New York, Miami, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, and Miami again. Can I get a HIGH FIVE?

I feel like each trip allowed me the opportunity to elevate my vibration. What I was able to gain from those experiences was another level of freedom. Let freedom ring! Let freedom ring! Going to New York was cool but it was too cold. That experience showed me power and my purpose. I had an amazing time in Miami for my birthday. So it was only right for me to come right back. My birthday trip helped me experience what it meant to have a “soft girl” life or the “sugar baby” life without giving up any sugar (yes ladies this is still possible.) I learned how to play my cards right. There was also a moment of liberation when I won that twerk contest. My hip was sore for nearly a month but I’m glad I did it. I feel that I really stepped out of my shell for once and had fun. Miami was a good way to enter Flirty 30. I enjoyed myself in Las Vegas but I was sick most of the time which didn’t make things fun for me. My trip to Los Angeles was a little surreal. It is crazy to think about the last year and a half I spent there. I’m both proud but also shocked at myself for what I’ve done. Returning to Atlanta was a good decision for me. I believe there is no place like home.

However, I know me still being homeless may be a big concern for people. I am finally accepting the fact that it’s okay for other people to be concerned for my well being. Especially since I feel that I am the only person who cares after me. I don’t expect myself to be someone else’s responsibility. I am my own responsibility. I feel that I have always lived with this mentality. I just recently started understanding what it means for other people to care enough to want the best for you. So hear me out, it is not that I thought no one cared about me at all. People definitely care. They just don’t care enough to actually help. At least that is what I learned. It is so easy for someone to care about you but not have the means to help you. There are also people who care about you but don’t want to help you. There are many people who care a lot but still don’t care enough.

My brother taught me a new word. It’s called: Nomad. According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary a nomad is someone who lives by traveling from place to place. Nomadic means anything that involves moving around a lot. You don't have to be a nomad to live a nomadic lifestyle. Celebrities live nomadic lifestyles. Athletes live nomad lifestyles. Entertainers such as comedians, rappers, musical performers and dancers also are nomadic. This word changed my life. The context my brother used it in was while I was talking about our house being sold. “It changed a lot of things for us.” That is when he responded with “Yeah, we are pretty much like nomads.” He explained that he told our parents friends this while visiting them in Warner Robins Georgia. They were shocked to hear how he described how we were living. They were also confused about how we ended up this way. That’s the part that every one seems to overlook. No one cares enough to help us not become nomads, they just care to want to know why we ended up like this? Frankly, it really isn’t people’s business but unfortunately people have made it their business. People talk about my life as if it is some Tyler Perry movie. Meanwhile this is my every day life. For a while it seemed that people were more entertained by my reality rather than empathetic. I guess that is why I’m so “cold-hearted.” It is most definitely a Cole world. I’m focused on making my own world a better reality. Being a nomad is not something to be ashamed of. It has the word “no” and “mad”. This is part of my journey. I need to learn how to say NO and I cant be mad. Anger is the enemy. I don’t like to be upset, mad, or angry. The reason why is because I already spent too many years of my young life being angry at the world. I’m very grateful for the Children book I wrote “Birds in the Sky””. Every now and then I read it to myself for emotional comfort. When I talked to my brother about releasing my book he told me “Pace yourself. Don’t rush it. What you have is like a boulder at the top of the hill. Don’t just push it down and watch it crash and burn. Let it roll down on it’s own and gain momentum. What you have is good! You don’t have to rush the process. It’s like fishing. You have the perfect bait because you got real food. Your food isn’t fake grocery fish bait. We actually got real bait.”

This makes me feel better in terms of all the exploitation we experienced as children. It feels good to have something of your own that no one else can control or monitor. I didn’t realize how triggered I was from things from my childhood. Financial freedom is everyone’s goal but I am learning that it is not easy to maintain without financial literacy. I understand how people gain money and than lose it. It’s a mentality. If there is anything that I know is valuable it is the power that my mind has to overcome certain things. This is a gift that I do not take for granted. It is also a super power.

The point I’m trying to make is that January taught me that it is okay to embrace this transformative period in my life. As long as I have goals in place and I am not putting myself in harmful environments, I would say being a nomad is not that bad. It is a way of life for me that I have accepted. After traveling so much in January I realized how out of control that may have been. However I do not have any regrets about making such moves.

The only thing I need to do is move smarter and work smarter not harder. I am tired of being a hard working woman. I want to be in my soft girl era. The goal is to have stable housing and a home I can call my own but I do not have time to mourn the past. In the present day, I need to be thankful for what God has given me. I have the right mindset and resources to get myself into a better routine living situation. However, I have grown accustom to being a nomad. Why is being a nomad so bad? It is not as if I had a choice. I don’t know any other life I’ve lived other than this one.

Perhaps I was a nomad in my past life which is why this feeling doesnt feel strange for me. Yes, it does get frustrating but I’ve learned to deal with it.

When I reflect on January and my life overall, I’ve always been a nomad. Since my parents passed away, moving around a lot of was normal. Having stability was not something I would experience for long periods of time except in Snellville. Once our house was sold, life became different. I am glad I was prepared to handle the changes. I am just now realizing this reality. If I want to change this for myself than I have to be committed and disciplined to my goals. I think it is easy for people to judge me or criticize me for the way I choose to live but no one else has to live my life but me. It is my responsibility that I wake up feeling happy, excited and ready for great things regardless of my situation. This will only create more great things to come. Michelle, Queen of Press ATL, laughed that I live a luxury lifestyle despite not having anywhere to live. “You just do whatever you want and go wherever you want.” I thought about this for a second. I realized that I have always been this person. I couldn’t do anything but laugh.

As long as January was, I will keep this blog short and sweet by saying this. I’m going to take some time to create more stability for myself. It’s not bad to be a nomad but it isn’t good to continue life without having any stability or some type of living structure especially as a woman. Whether someone provides that stability for you or you have to provide it for yourself, stability is the foundation to success in any areas. That is my belief..

Instability leaves room for chaos, confusion and craziness. I am speaking from experience. I have a lot planned for Black History Month. I want to refrain from any negativity whether it is people or energy. I want to protect my peace as I prepare for this next journey of my life. I appreciate people’s concerns about my well being and whereabouts but respectfully I need yall to mind ya business. As long as I am breathing and living, that’s all you need to know. I only should have to share information about my whereabouts to exclusive people who deserve the privilege to be in my presence. Valentines Day is still up in the air but I am accepting orders for Valentines Day. I’m only accepting pick up orders by appointments.

Hope you all have a great Black History Month!

Don’t forget next month is Women History Month!

Be blessed!

Love always,

Malon Mahotiere